Ultimately, time is what allows me to find a different perspective on this topic; Time can be so bittersweet. It has taken time to look at our son being born 7 weeks early in a different light. It is difficult to put into words our experience with Lucas coming into our world 7 weeks early. 7 weeks is truly not a long amount of time when you look at it against an entire lifetime. However, the amount of development a young soul will go through in those last 7 weeks, inside of a uterus, is incredible. For myself, Stephen and our entire family we witnessed Lucas create that development. We watched this resilient human first learn to breathe, to hold his temperature and to eat – 3 things we tend to take for granted.
The admiration I feel towards Lucas will never dissipate. He has proven that no matter what the universe may send your way you have the capacity. He led me down a path of empowerment. He uncovered a strength in me I had not discovered. A strength I still need to this day, as I struggle with the guilt that he came into this world too early because of my body, not his. It was my body failing that didn’t allow him to stay a safe amount of time. And yet, he proves to me every day that he does not place blame on anyone. This is the journey he is meant to take in this life.
He came into our world at 3# 9oz and is now 20#. He LOVES to eat. It still amazes me after watching him take my breast milk through an NG tube for the first 29 days of his life. He is babbling and mimicking like he already has so many stories to tell me. And it’s hard to imagine there was a time when he would stop breathing and we just had to sit, stare and wait for the nasal cannula to do its job and help him get his oxygen. He is cruising around in his Batmobile, chasing after the dogs. And I think back to a time not long ago when he was hooked up to so many wires and had an IV in his tiny foot or hand depending on the day. I now wrestle an alligator trying to get his clothes on and the moment I put socks on his feet, he rips them off. And I quickly recall changing his first diaper through two holes, so he could remain in his incubator and not drop his temperature. This young man I am watching discover, learn and rejoice is a miracle. He was up against incredible odds and he absorbed it. He has never looked back and loves unconditionally. The love he has already given this world, give me goosebumps.
Our journey together through this life did not start off as “planned”, there were moments of terror, but we all stuck together. Our connected group of humans surrounded us with an incredible energy that acted as a blanket of hope. I could not imagine where Stephen and I would be without them and truly without Lucas. Stephen and I did not anticipate our journey to becoming parents would be the most difficult obstacle we have yet to face. This obstacle gave us the brightest light to guide us through though. We will forever be grateful
Hello! Congratulations on your amazing NICU graduate!! It has always occurred to me that no one realizes just what a miracle human conception, development and birth really is until they see a NICU baby fight to breath, eat and grow. Thank you for sharing Lucas with us and I hope you keep us updated on his progress.
Love and Hugs
Welcome to Share Karyn and congratulations on your son Lucas! I am so pleased to read that he met his NICU goals and came home to you both. No doubt the NICU journey takes times to process and you were there the whole time watching him fight and beat those odds. I felt the same way watching my oldest tiniest preemie grow. Keep taking those pictures and writing all of the details down. He'll ask and wonder about the time he was once so little. When he's older, he'll marvel at his parents' strength:)
Thank you for sharing! Our little ones are stronger than we'll ever know! How old is he now? Hope he's doing well! <3
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