So today's the day we sign the contract on his little tombstone. I don't feel as stressed out as I did when we went to discuss it, but I still have feelings of sadness and easily get triggered into panic attacks. I found doing yoga and art, take my mind off of things and make me feel productive. I am ready to go back to work, I have always been a busy person, staying at home is so hard, especially since I had to have the c section and the doctors won't let me go back its eating me alive I feel. My 2 dogs are a tremendous help, as well as family who has went through a similar experience. I'm slowly learning and accepting that I was not to blame, nothing I did caused it. Reading books on pregnancy loss has helped a lot as well. It's rough, but my mum and husband are my rocks, I don't know what I would do without them. The best thing I read was to try to be who they (the baby) would want you to be. I wake up thanking God, and I try to enjoy life knowing my little boy would want me to.
God give me strength, God give me hope, God give me love.
I am so glad you are finding ways to deal with missing your baby. One of the only universal truths regarding infant loss is that we all process differently and different things help us all. I'm so happy that you have the support of family and your husband. I wish you so much strength in being the person you hope to be. I hope you can keep posting and keep us updated as you navigate your new normal.
Love and Hugs
Thank you so much! Some days are good and some are bad but I'm trying.
Some days are just so hard and even harder to understand. I'm so glad you are finding comfort in your loved ones and Share. Just remember to take it one day at a time and if you feel the need to cry, cry. Sadly, this is our new normal and it's okay to have those difficult days as long as we learn to cope with them. Sending you many hugs and prayers.
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