I lost my first born on May 11 due to a placental abruption. I was exactly 20 weeks along. At first I was in shock, then it seemed that once I left the hospital, due to having a c section, it just hit hard. The first week was rough, super rough, this past week I was beginning to feel anger towards everyone. I could not understand why this happened... then I put the blame back on myself maybe it was the yoga and dance workouts I was doing, but the doctor said I could workout, or maybe it was from me spotting girls at my gymnastics facility I work for, or the packages I was delivering for the post office or maybe I was just too stressed, maybe it was the large fibroid. There is just so much that I feel like I'm to blame for, but the doctors said everything was 100% perfect.. perhaps Im being too hard on myself, but I'm just so scared and confused. God give me strength, God give me hope, God give me love.
Hello and welcome to Share. I am so very sorry for the reason that brought you here. My heart breaks to read that another mom is living without her baby boy. I also lost a son due to a placental abruption (as well as undiagnosed preeclampsia and blood clot). I carried him for 30 weeks exactly. We can always look back on things and wonder, but even when we do, we know the result is still the same. We miss our babies and the life we we were so looking forward to. Perspective has changed and seeing things in a different light now. So many people won't understand, but we get it here. All of those grief stages and feelings are so well received and can relate on this site. Know that it is so normal to feel how you're feeling. Let those tears fall, break dishes, scream, and know there's no one way to do this journey.
Wishing you strength and sending hugs,
Hello and welcome to Share. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. I lost my first daughter 11 years ago, due to a chromosomal anomaly. I also blamed myself, was sure it was something I did in my younger days that caused her genetic map to fail her. Please be gentle with yourself, and know that its not your fault. I am sending you so much strength. Remember, when everything seems impossible, even making it through the days, don't count the minutes either, simple make it one breath at a time. You are not alone and we are here for you.
Love and Hugs
Hello, and welcome to Share. I, too, am sorry for what has brought you here ... what has brought us all here. I hate that you have to go through this immense pain as well.
I lost twin sons in March 2007 at 22w5d ... for reasons unknown. I was so, so angry because it had taken so many years of infertility treatments for them to become a reality. I hated life; I hated my husband for not feeling things as I was, and on and on.
Eleven years into this journey, I still wonder about the "what ifs." I think this will stay with us until we join our angels again. Plain and simple, we were robbed.
What you are feeling is completely normal. Allow yourself to feel and grieve in whatever manner you choose. If you are able, connect with a therapist. That and Share are what got me through those early days and years. Take as much time as you need.
Please know that we are here for you. Sending many hugs and much love.
Thank you all so much, I'm trying to connect with others to see how they handled things, family think its best if I talk to people, which is hard since I'm so backward as it is but it is nice and comforting knowing I'm not alone in this journey and battle.
We help moms have full-term pregnancies and healthy babies. And if something goes wrong, we offer information and comfort to families. We research the problems that threaten our babies and work on preventing them.
© Privacy, terms and notices