Hello my name is Awilda, I’m 22 years old and I live in Boston, MA.
I had a 4 & a half month old baby. She was my first baby,
My only baby. I gave birth January 11, 2018. Healthy pregnancy but stressful, my mom had kicked me out the house and her father and I didn’t really get along. My mom let me come back home when I was around 6 months pregnant but as to the baby’s father and I, our relationship was still rocky. I found out about a lot of girls that he will talk to and be with it wasn’t up until when I was around 8 months pregnant hat he had told me we should try to work on things, I didn’t really want to because I felt like when I truly needed someone there for me he wasn’t there for me. On January 11, 2018 I delivered a beautiful baby girl which I named Jaylanis. That little girl was truly my world, my everything. I didn’t care about no one else if they wasn’t there for me I didn’t even care, because I had her. I did decide to work things out with him just because I didn’t want my child to grow up without her dad. I grew up without my dad because my dad passed away when I was 13 years old. So we was getting along fine, that little girl filled us up with love and helped us cared for each other. We was still living separate, I would sleep over some nights with the baby while we were searching for an apartment. The night of May 28, 2018 we had spent the whole day in his house and he brought the baby and I back to my moms house around 8pm. I fed my baby girl and put her to sleep around 10pm. My baby had bad reflux so I would always be up till really late scared that she might choke on her sleep or something. That night I was up till 4am but the baby had woken up around 1am I changed her diaper and fed her not knowing that was going to be the last night we spent together. I went to sleep around 4am and didn’t wake up again till almost 7am. When I open my eyes I look over to her and as I go to wake her up and I touch her, my baby was stiff, my baby wasn’t breathing. My grandmother was home with me she did CPR while I called 911, we both ran out with the baby. A police officer was passing by and seen us so he immediately stopped his car and ran to grab the baby and gave her CPR while the ambulance came. When the EMT’s got here they pulled her into the ambulance but I wasn’t allowed in after being outside for a good like half hour they said it was time to bring her to the hospital something inside me was telling me she’s going to be ok, when we get to the hospital my baby will open her eyes and I wi hear her cry. It was nothing like that once we got that all the doctors and MA’s rushed into my baby’s room and after like 30 minutes of being there I was still looking through the door glass, still no heart beat. The doctor came out and broke the news, he told me “ I’m so sorry but your daughter has passed.” I really felt my world just fall apart. This pain I’ve been feeling inside ever since she passed is unbearable, they told me it gets easier by the days but if anything it gets harder because I miss her more each day. She passed away on a Tuesday 5/29, her wake was that Sunday 6/3 and her burial was Monday 6/4. I visit her grave almost everyday. All this hurts so bad. Her dad and I have been living together ever since she passed away and he’s been really good to me and we are really supportive to each other but I just feel like nothing makes me feel better. I just want my baby girl back so bad!
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