Last week was the beginning of the state standardized testing and I was tasked with administering the test to a 6th grade class (you aren't allowed to test your own class) that a number of my "old" kids are in. I keep an angel pin in my lanyard/ID holder and it wasn't long before one of them asked if the angel pin was for my daughter which of course led to more questions and conversation. Later that day, I realized that I have made it to a point where I can easily talk about Gigi, explain her story, and answer questions without tearing up- at least 99% of the time. It's been a little over 6 months since Genevieve was born, lived her short life, and passed away. When I think back to the whirlwind of events that happened over those 10 days it feels like I'm replaying a movie, not my life. I am thankful that I have such an amazing support system in my husband, family, friends, colleagues, and students, without them I'm pretty sure I'd still be in my bed crying and snuggling her little pink knit hat. Of course I still have those days but instead of 2-3 bad days a week I'm having 2-3 bad days a month and they are not as crippling as they were in the beginning.
It's so sweet to have a little angel pin on your lanyard:) Not that she's ever far from your mind, but it's just nice to have something with you. I wear an angel wing on a necklace, not everyday like in the beginning, but available when I need it. I'm so glad to read that going back has you finding some footing again and that you have support for those harder days. Now that testing is out of the way, I wish you a smooth transition to summer months where you can stay in bed all you want.
I am so sorry for your loss. What a sweet idea to carry her with you daily in the form of the angel pin. Thinking of you. Hugs.
Its very different how kids are able to talk with us about our babies we lost so much more comfortably than fellow adults can. I also found it nice that someone wanted to talk about Josie, and let me use her name and speak about her as a real person. Happy that you have support and that your good days outnumber the bad.
Love and Hugs
I love that you wear an angel pin. It is indeed a sign of strength and progress in an angel parent's grief journey when you can share. It took me quite a while when i lost my sons 10 years ago.
Many hugs to you as you continue to walk this path.
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