The "A" Mom

The Due Date

  • Oh, yes, the "how many kids?" question....followed up by "just one? When's the next one coming "*wink wink* Its so well intended, for small talk, for get to know you chats, but its one of the worst questions ever. I feel especially horrible when its directed to those suffering from fertility issues. I do the same thing, sometimes I share Josie, and sometimes I don't. Depends on the situation and who I'm talking to. I applaud you for going on with your day as best you can. Keep cheering yourself on, it really helps.

    Love and Hugs

    Brandi

  • First let me start by giving you some big hugs. What a difficult day this must be for you. I'm like you... I don't like to sit in my sadness and so when my girls were in the NICU I fought that off and tried to focus on only the good. While I'm not a loss mom... I still have sadness at my situation and fear of losing my babies. And I learned a real lesson in trying to be happy and strong all the time. All that sadness eventually came back... in a big way.

    It was at that time that I kind of adopted a new mantra.... You gotta feel it to heal it. I'm not saying that if you just feel sad... then someday you'll stop feeling sad. Because that's not going to happen ever.... you'll always be missing your Atticus. But I say.... when you feel that sadness coming in... let yourself feel it. It's okay. You have suffered the greatest of losses...it's okay to be sad. You feel the sadness... and then you're able to move forward a bit each time.  Be kind to yourself, acknowledge the hard days. And I Imagine Annette brings you much joy to look forward to each day.

    Hugs

    Karri

  • I loss my daughter when I was 17 so I didn't start getting asked how many kids until I older. Most people don't ask a teenager how many kids that they have, most don't have any. When I was in college and interacting with older adults the question would come up in group projects as they tried to get to know me. It's a hard question. Even now, almost 7 years later I am asked how many kids or when will I have more. I am always tempted to tell people to mind their own damn business. I don't always share about Allison. Not everyone deserves to know about her.

    Wishing your heart some peace.

    Tamara