Nobody prepares you for what’s to come , when you see that plus sign your first thought is not oh my god I am going to lose this child , it’s not I’m going to love this child for a small amount of time and then have her ripped from my womb far too soon ,
I remember the day I took the test it was February 7th 2018, I was beyond excited but a little reluctant see I had already miscarried before . And it was still pretty early . But through the scary thoughts that ran through my head . I was becoming a mom . And my little bean had began to sprout . On Valentine’s Day I announced to my family that I was pregnant . Only a small group of people knew . As weeks went by I had many complications but through them my little bean continued to grow . The first trimester was a hot mess I bled and bled and was constantly freaking out . Around 13 weeks I had a sub chorionic hemorrhage which from what they could tell had resolved its self . A few weeks later we discovered I was having a little girl . And her name was going to be October , as we crept in to 20 weeks the storm finally came crashing in . And I had no clue it would be the last week I’d spend with my sweet little bean . As I went in to week 21 I was met with some old blood and the loss of my mucus plug , a few days later my water broke , the following morning I was in active labor . My uterus wasn’t normal I had a septum in the middle of it which caused the placenta to rip . Apon giving birth to october they discovered the hemorrhage from my first trimester had actually grew causing a huge clot between the placenta and uterus. Which had gone on undetected . Laying in the delivery room , the doctor looked me in the eyes and said your life is in danger . It’s your life or hers . And it’s not even hers because she won’t make it . It’s far to early . But I couldn’t make that choice . So I choose to let nature take its coarse and see what happened . About 8 hours later , I was giving birth to my 10.6 oz baby girl she chose for me that day . A mother’s love is nothing in comparison to the love a child has for their mother . My October was alive outside the womb for a little under an hour . And man has my life been changed ever since. I can honestly say october saved my life that day by taking her own . And with that I met one of God’s purest angels . Since that day I’ve had surgery to correct my uterus. And hopefully one day I’ll be willing an able to conceive another child . But until then . My journey is to learn why this happened and how I can help other moms who have gone through similar tragedies. Never let the memory of your baby go forgotten . I’ll keep you alive with your story . I love you my baby until we meet again
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you made it through this without further complications for your own health. I have no idea how that feels to be told your life is in danger, you seem amazingly strong from what you went through. My baby was taken to heaven at 5 days old. I’d like to think these things happened to us for a reason. We’ll keep the memories of our children alive in our hearts forever. May October rest peacefully.
Welcome to Share and thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry to read of the loss of your first baby to miscarriage and then the loss of your precious October. I can't imagine all you've been through. Sending your prayers for peace in your heart.
Hugs to you,
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