We are having ourselves another yucky school year with Ryley. Honestly, I don't know what's going on with him. It's frustrating to no livin end. He's not doing homework, and then he lies about it. My extremely intelligent boy is barely hanging on to a 2.0 GPA right now, not ideal when you're a sophomore and hoping college is in the future. We've done everything we can think of to right the ship - grounded, talked til we're blue in the face, lectured, yelled, taken things away, yelled some more, emailed teachers, micro-managed, not managed at all. Nothing seems to make a difference. At our wits' end, we got his school counselor involved. We now have a meeting scheduled with her, as many of his teachers as can be there, and "other members of the team" tomorrow afternoon. They will evaluate him for a 504 plan. I have no idea what accommodations might help, no clue what they might be able to do. We just know he's dug himself so deeply in, it's going to be a long haul to dig him out. Words like "Executive Function" are being uttered. We've met with a different pediatrician at our peds office - one who specializes in ADHD. His med program has been altered.
I keep wondering, could this too be some sort of fall out from his prematurity? Is there something missing as a direct result of his early birth? Do we, as preemie parents, ever stop wondering about every little thing that comes up in their lives?
We have another appointment on Wednesday afternoon - this one with the endocrinologist. In the course of the study Ry was involved in for his weird liver numbers, he had a full-body scan which showed his body fat, bone mass, bone density, and muscle mass. We knew before going in his BMI is extremely low. I wasn't in any way stressed about what this test might show. We got the results of the entire study a few weeks back. His bone density is alarmingly low. Referrals were immediately made to endo. Something HAS to be done, it's that bad. I guess a -2 is considered very bad. He's a -3.2 I have no idea what this all means. I asked his pediatrician what we should or shouldn't do in the meantime. Can he even still participate in normal activities? He runs cross country. She said running has shown to actually increase bone density, so yes, he should keep running. He should just try really hard to not fall or run into anyone. Fabulous. She didn't say anything about anything else, other than to have him be careful. Awesome.
Being the modern type person, I of course googled very low bone density. Don't do that. His lack of growth might have a lot to do with his extremely low bone density. More awesomeness. He's still struggling with having not hit his growth spurt, especially as he turned 16 last month. It's very difficult for him now, emotionally and psychologically. He DID grow a full inch since August, so I think we're getting there, but it's hard. I see it dragging on him.
When I got the email with this new diagnosis, I of course started wondering if his prematurity has anything to do with this. Was it all the meds in the NICU? The caffeine, the lipids, the steroids, the antibiotics, the oxygen? Could it be because he didn't have those last fourteen weeks in the amniotic fluid? My heart fights to be able to point the finger at something, but the guilt overwhelms as well.
You think when your preemie reaches sixteen years old, and has been considered "normal" since he was three, you'd stop wondering. But I don't think I'll ever stop wondering.......
I am so sorry you guys are going through this, Donna. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to have a child whom you KNOW is intelligent not doing well in school and not understanding why.
I hate that you guys have to deal with all of this when Ryley should be enjoying his high school years. When he should be growing (like all his friends), running without worrying about falling, studying because it's just what you do when you're in high school.
I hate that you have to wonder if all this relates back to his prematurity. I hate that it's there, in the back of your mind.
I really hope you guys get some answers and that there are things that can be done to help Ryley.
He's lucky to have you on his side.
Sending lots of love,
High School is going to be the one thing that pushes me over the edge. I think we will always wonder about how their early birth and treatments have shaped who they are. I believe he will get this all figured out and get on track.... but in true preemie fashion he has to do it his way, right? They've been making us crazy from the very beginning.
Much love and many hugs!
I'm so sorry that Ryley is dealing with these physical issues and that high school is so frustrating for both of you. I absolutely hate that prematurity is still lurking and taking up so much space in your brain and your heart. I truly hope that you get some answers at school and from the doctors. Like Karri said, probably in his own way, on his own time table. I admire your dedication and commitment to getting him on track, he is so fortunate to have such a bad ass mom such as yourself! (that's my new favorite phrase)
Love and Hugs
We help moms have full-term pregnancies and healthy babies. And if something goes wrong, we offer information and comfort to families. We research the problems that threaten our babies and work on preventing them.
© Privacy, terms and notices