I had to come here to write about this....Ryley reads my other, public, blog. But I need to get this out, without him reading it.
He's fifteen. He's finishing his Freshman year of high school. It's been a rough year, to say the least. They say it's a "transition year." I just say it blows. Seriously. He's gone from a straight-A student, to one content with C's. He's lying about stupid stuff. He forgets things at least once a week, and expects me to bring it to him.. He has no sense of accountability or responsibility. Homework isn't handed in. Missed quizzes aren't made up. He has zero sense of urgency. We've had so many conversations this year on how it really matters now, the things he does or doesn't do. We call them "Come to Jesus moments." He's had his phone and all other technology taken away at least five times this year. I'm at my wit's end. I found myself wondering the other day, where did my feisty fighter go? This kid I'm dealing with now has no drive, no fight.
I remember that baby boy, the one who did everything in his own time, in his own way. I remember the baby who was trying to pull his vent tubes out half an hour after he was intubated, the 26-week baby who came off the ventilator to CPAP at 36 HOURS old. I remember that little boy who signed until his speech caught up with his brain. I remember the little boy who spent hours in the backyard with the hit-away when his baseball coach told him to work on his swing. I remember that boy who fought the effects of his ADHD to do well in school, and the boy who ran two cross country miles while battling an asthma attack, only stopping after he'd crossed the finish line.
I know it's in him, somewhere, that fighter. I hope that fight makes a reappearance soon. This kid...the one we're seeing right now....he's making me crazy.
I can't offer many words of wisdom here because I am so not there yet with my parenting. After listening to the 12/13 year olds that have dance after abbey yesterday, I'm not looking forward to it! I hope venting here helped and that something will finally click and he will get his fire back!
Love and Hugs
Oh girl..... I'm not sure how to motivate the unmotivated either. My own fighter has no sense of urgency or anything else lately and we're not quite to the same age yet. Let's call it a "phase".... All kids go through phases right?! Hugs to you as you try to figure out the way to make it workable for the whole family.
Hopefully this is one of those things you can laugh about soon. Riley and I just discussed that for her, next year is "for real". It all goes on that permanent record that will go to college admission offices. Big love to you and your Ryley. He's a great kid.
I'm so sorry you're having a sucky year and Ryley has lost his fight. I hope it's something you can find in him or rekindle. You know it's in there and I know you, you won't give up until you find is.
So much love to you,
I wish I had an answer to why or how to motivate...but I do get it my son has the very laid back personality and at 6 it's already driving me crazy. I can only imagine what it's like with a teenager. hugs to you.
You know I know this journey. I wish I knew the answer that would "fix it". But the reality is... he has to want to fix it. We just have to pray that they figure it out sooner, rather than later. And trust me when I say he will figure it out. He will. You have to surrender or you will make yourself crazy. And again... remember... he will figure it out. Love you!
Ohh I feel like you wrote this about Jadon. Although its been the transition to middle school not high school. If you happen to find the answer on how to fix all this I would love to know the secret. I really hope this doesn't mean I will have to relive this year in 9th grade too.
Hugs to you!
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