Every year as the month of October begins the last 11 years plays out in my head. You see October used to mean preparing for Halloween, fall weather, hayrides, corn mazes, and all the other fun fall stuff. But eleven years ago October brought a whole new meaning to me. October is Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Month. 11 years ago we said hello and goodbye to our baby girl on the very same day. Since losing her I have been blessed to have met some of the most amazing people who too have walked a similar path. We all have the same thing in common we mother our children's memory instead of mothering them on Earth.
October's a month to raise awareness for moms like me. Moms who have had to hear the hardest words of their lives, their children won't be coming home.
The first few Octobers I spent with an overwhelmingly amount of grief stacked on my shoulders. As the years have flown by, the grief doesn't cut nearly as deep. Yes I miss her, and oh my goodness I wish she was still here. But none of that can be changed. So now October has a little bit different of the meaning it means I survived when I didn't think I would. It shows me that I'm stronger then I ever thought was possible. No! the pain doesn't go away and there are moments where the grief will take over. But the grief does not control me anymore I'm able to find Happy moments, smile without feeling guilty, and I'm able to share her story without falling apart. One of the toughest questions I'm asked is how many children do you have, that question does not hit like a ton of bricks like it used to. I have three children two I mother here on Earth and one that I mother in my heart. In her name I have found ways to give back, this past month I used her memory to help two families regain their lives after losing everything in Hurricane Irma. I have found that helping create her Legacy by doing good has helped heal my heart in a way I never thought was possible.
October is Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Month. If you know someone who has lost a child let them know that you remember their child. Say their child's name. Help raise Awareness for all those children who arrived but could not stay. Raise awareness for those families who will one day walk the same path.
It is not an easy journey, but I will say that surrounding yourself with a whole lot of love, supportive friends and Family will makes the journey a little more manageable.
So this October I remember my Daughter, Trinity Leigh and all the other SHARE babies that are very much missed by their Mommas.
Thank you for gently bringing awareness to this very special month this year. Early on, I found strength in meeting so many others walking this same journey. I am so inspired by all of the things you continue to do in Trinity's name.
Sending love to all of those who are missing their little pumpkins,
You are making sure that Trinity is never, every forgotten by working so hard to make it so no one ever has to endure the pain you've endured. Thank you for all that you do, all that you give, all that you are.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that Trinity Leigh will always live on in your heart. Thank you for taking your immeasurable grief and using it to help so many others. I feel really lucky to know you at Share.
Love and hugs
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