I can't even remember my normal Christmas routine before 2011. I don't remember how I felt or anything. That's how traumatic Zacc's passing was. The only Christmas Zacc and I had together, I remember coming in to see him after sneaking away the night before to sleep in my own bed. His nurse, Ms. Ronda, told me that the girl scout were there the evening before handing out blankets they had made for the NICU babies. She told me that she got first pick and got Zacc the cutest one. It was such an thoughtful gesture. When Zacc passed away, I made sure Ms. Ronda got the blanket she had picked out for him. Each year after that I did my own Blanket, Beanie and Bear Drive for our local NICU and each year it's been very successful. This year unfortunately I've been dealing with starting dialysis, moving and multiple surgeries. Needless to say I wasn't able to push my efforts as I usually do. I've got a few things coming to me but not as much as I usually have. I'm trying not to let it get me down but it just doesn't feel right not being able to take Z's wagon loaded with presents for the NICU this year. I'm asking anyone that may have it on their heart to donate something to the NICU where your miracle resided at, please do. It stinks being there during the holidays but it sure makes a difference when someone takes time out just to show you a little kindness.
It's so nice as always to see an update from you. I think your sweet Zacc would understand this year and be proud of you for putting momma and your health first. Gotta take good care of yourself right now so that next year you can bring that wagon load. And he knows your love for him isn't measured in blankets. A love as deep as you have for Zacc can't be measured by anything we can imagine- it's just too big.
We always do a donation of some sort around Christmas time and I will be sure to think of your sweet Zacc when I do.
What a wonderful thing you do every year. You just need to focus on you this year it sounds so you can get healthy and start back up next year. We have always sent something to the NICU nurses around the holidays since they were absolute angels to Scott. Take care of yourself and many hugs. Nicki
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