So I just finished corporate prayer with my church family. For 21 days I took a break from FB and focused on hearing from God on what His desires were for me in 2015. All I can say is whooaaa!!! I received a breakthrough and a release. My niece had a baby in November and his name is Jeremiah. I love him!!! And guess what? He looks just like Zacchaeus!!! I mean spitting image, shaped head, big eyes and the little wisdom hole in his ear!!! He's about 12 pounds now and the same size Zacc was at 6 months when he passed. Last week he laid on my chest, in the same place Zacc use to lay. I closed my eyes and for a brief moment, I was holding him again. I felt a release in my body and tears started to roll down my face. I was okay, I started to feel like I could live again. But that's not all, some of you know about Zacc's father and I. He didn't want me to go through with the pregnancy. We argued and fought the whole pregnancy and NICU stay. He never laid eyes on Zacc and didn't attend his funeral. Things got even nastier after Zacc passed away and eventually I had to cut all communication with him. Over the years I always felt like in some way I failed Zacc, because of his father. It didn't seem fair for me to have to go through this by myself. At first I hated him, I couldn't even sleep, because the hating his father kept me up. After some time I had a talk with God. I realized that when Zacc was alive I use to tell all the time to forgive his father because he doesn't understand what he's doing. I told him to love his father but pray against the nasty spirit that made him act the way he acted. If I told my son to pray and forgive his father, I had to do it it too. So then I constantly prayed about it and cried about it. I already had the scenario played out in my mind. When I was about 60 or 70 I probably would receive a letter from him, when he was on his deathbed apologizing. It didn't happen like that. Last week I received a message in my inbox on Fb under an assumed name. It went like this:
Hello first off I want to apologize to you from the decisions that I made in the past. Yes I regret the things I said and did I was being very childish and inconsiderate of you and your feelings. No Im not writing you thisto argue with you or any thing of that nature I just been lookin at the video on youtube and been getting very emotional.MY heart aches to know that i was dumb and too stupid about he nature of the situation. Im not writing you for your sympathy im writing you to apologize. I know you probably wont forgive me but thats ok I understand. I just rather you read this and know that I am sorry you probably dont believe me but I am i really regret everything..... you dont have to respond if you dont wont to just give me a thumbs up or thumbs down to at least let me know u read it. like I said Im sorry for all the pain that I caused you Im sorry for messing up ur life. I know u hate me but thats ok. stay blessed and have a good one... sorry to trouble u with this message you have just been on my mind very heavy. S.I.P MY SON Zacchaeus M. Roberts
This is from his FATHER!!!! I cried and praised God for confirmation that he does care and love his son. At first I didn't know if I was going to respond. So a few day later I sent some pics of Zacc and left a message that simple said "thank you."
I'm feeling a lot better, I'm always going to grieve for Zacc but now I feel like he's really resting in peace and my heart is well.
I am so happy to hear that Zacc's father finally realized the error in his ways and apologized. It takes a real man to own up to such a huge mistake and try and make it right. I can't help but wonder if Zaccheus has been pestering his daddy to do the right thing. I can just picture your son doing that. :)
I'm glad you got a nice break from FB. I too often find myself having to unplug from the rest of the world. I think it just affects me on such a deeper level now then it did before. I'm so glad you've rejoined your share family. You have been dearly missed. Love you sister.
Hello, it sounds like a break was just was needed. That is great that you got a message from Zacc's father. Sometimes after time is passed people can reflect and say the things that should have been said at the time. And that is one of the best feelings in the world.
My heart swells with joy and tears fill my eyes for the blessing relief you've received! You deserve to be at peace, at least to have as much peace as you can in your situation. Hugs and hugs!
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