Riley is currently doing a fundraiser for our hospital. Actually she has four fundraisers for her hospital in the works right now, and March for Babies will be upon us before I know it. Last year, she started this particular fundraiser with her gymnastics team and we raised $3000 without a lot of work or hoopla. This year, it's a struggle. She is struggling with the fact that we will probably not raise as much money. She is worried that people will be let down. And she's been working hard trying to come up with some creative sponsors.
So we are driving towards her gym and she's looking at each store as we go and wondering aloud if they would sponsor her. "CVS, Dental School, Dr. E OBGYN..." She paused and looked at me for a reaction. Dr E was my OB when I was pregnant. I haven't seen him since my 6 week post partum exam. I soundly blame him for a lot...not the preeclampsia or the HELLP Syndrome but the rest...Ugh, it makes me feel icky just thinking about it. He didn't catch it when it started, he pooh poohed my concerns, he let me drive to the hospital with a blood pressure of 180/120. So neglect...maybe? He didn't call the hospital right away when he sent me driving off so I spent ten PRECIOUS minutes sitting in a waiting room in labor and delivery. Yuck. Just...yuck. Anyway, she mentioned his name. I laughed nervously and said, "Maybe he'd donate out of guilt." And there's the kicker. I don't know if he feels guilty or what. I do know that he lost his job with his practice after a review of my case (and probably some others). I just know that I have a lot of unresolved feelings about the whole thing and I've probably piled a lot or most of them on his head. He was not the doctor who delivered her. He switched my care to a high risk doctor at a different hospital.
Anyway, the seed was planted in her head and earlier this week, I was turning right by his office again and she glanced over and said, "Do you really think he'd donate?" In her tone, I also heard "Do you think he'd want to meet me?" and more importantly, "I think I want to meet him."
So we went. I asked the nurse if he was there and she said she'd get him. I gave her our last name. I took a few deep breaths and squeezed Riley's hand. She said, "are you okay? Your hand is a little sweaty?" Ugh, nervous laughter from me. She leaned in tight and whispered, "We could run. He'd never know." Aah, sweet girl. mentioned that I had already given the nurse our name and then he came out. No devil horns. He knew immediately who I was. I wouldn't have known him on the street. I introduced Riley and there was surprise on his face. He said, "oh, I uhm never knew the outcome." That one caught Riley by surprise. She said, somewhat charmingly, somewhat awkwardly. "Oh yeah, I lived." I chuckled and said, "Yeah, me too." Of course, he knew that. He saw me six weeks after my life exploded.
So...I asked Riley to explain why we had stopped by. He looked awkward. Maybe he though she'd hit him? I thought later that maybe he thought she was pregnant? Although she was wearing a gymnastics leo and is pretty tiny but you never know. Anyway, she explained and he said he'd sponsor her. I dropped a packet with him and we have not heard back. I was relieved to have it over. I'm hoping that I no longer get sick to my stomach when I see the sign at his office. I...yeah. I'm sure you guys get it.
Wow, my stomach would have been in knots too. Kudos to Riley for her fundraising efforts, and thinking outside the box. Maybe seeing her and seeing you will make that doctor re-evaluate his standards of care.
Hugs to you.
This entire posts makes me giddy with pride and yet, a little sick to my stomach because I know what you went through facing that doctor.
I admit I snorted back a laugh when Riley replied with, "Oh yeah, I lived." Because, hahahaha. She's awesome, that girl of yours. I'm pretty sure we all know where she gets her sense of humor.
I hope he comes through with the donation but you know what? Even if he doesn't, you guys won that day.
So much love,
Ugh - totally get it!! I haven't seen the OB I had with Ryley since my 20 week visit. I think I'd want to bash him over his arrogant head. Maybe this will give you a little resolution, maybe not. But holy crackers, that was brave.
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