Cant believe it 27yrs since Shane was born it so seems like a life time ago but still remember it quiet clearly I was 22, young and thought I was indestructible.
I'd already lost one child but never in my wildest dream thought it could happen again. This time I thought everything was gonna be ok Oh boy was I so wrong.
It was Friday 19th and I went to my aunties for a visit. Then later I was to meet up with my family cause today was also my sisters birthday. I was 26 weeks and felt fairly good. Never suspected anything was going to go wrong, then all of sudden I got this really sharp pain and I'm like what the hell and I started to get worried. I didn't take any chances this time I went straight to the hospital in my local suburb. They took me straight in they checked me out and said we think your in labour Omg Im like no way but after the doctor saw me he told me I was.
I was horrified and panic started to kick in so they put me straight into an ambulance and sent me straight to Melbourne to the Mercy Hospital They specialised in prem labours and babies. I was worried this was where Sean was born and died and I was back here again about to go through another labour that wasn't suppose to come yet.
They took me straight up to the labour ward and connect me to monitors, a drip to try and stop this baby from coming. This only keep me to bay for about 5 hours then those contraction really started to kick in. My doctor came in and said your going to have this baby sometime today and he's going to be tiny.
Later that day Shane was born at 26 weeks and weight was 1 pound 8oz. He was rushed to the NICU and connect to all these tubes, monitors etc.
He was in NICU for the whole time until the day he died. Which was 51 days. He died from massive heart attacks. They don't know what cause it. It just happened. He held on until I got to the hospital and the 3rd attack killed him He died within 5 minutes after I got there.
So long ago but I still remember everything but it doesn't hurt as much now. I've learnt through the years to live with this "new normal" The date just makes me uneasy and unsettled but I'm ok with that now.
So I came here to vent but not to complain because I was lucky to have him even though it was such a short amount of time. But I do miss his very much.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your boys. I'm a loss mom as well. You're so many years ahead in your loss journey, but I imagine no matter how much time has gone by, it's like it was just yesterday. I hope that you are taking it easy today and doing things that honor their memory, and bringing you peace.
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