Well its been about a year or just over since I was last here. Well its that time of year again when I have to go through the thought process of when Sean and Shane died. (sigh)
It makes me sad that every year time after time I cant get passed these days even though its no where as heart breaking but it still hurts.
I guess been around Christmas doesnt help.
You would think after 26yrs for Sean and 24yrs for Shane since they have been gone it wouldnt hurt but my heart does still ache.
I think its more about wondering what they would have been like things like growing up there personalities, looks and just seeing them grow up and do great and stupid silly stuff that kids just do.
Having memories I dont really have memories well I do but there only very short and not really detailed and that bothers me a bit because Id like to remember in detail but as time goes on its becoming more vague. I wont forget them I know that I just dont remember pacific details Bit sad hey hmmm
Well be popping back again about the 19th Jan thats Shanes birth date
I'm so sorry that this time if year is so hard for you. I totally understand the wonder, the questions, the sadness that fills your heart as you wonder who they would have been.
Grief is so personal, so deep and when it is the loss of children you are grieving, I just don't think it ever goes away.
So much love to you as your remember your boys,
I don't think there is any amount of time that can eliminate the pain of losing a child. I am glad that you found your way back to Share, we are always here for the difficult anniversaries. I hope over the next few weeks you are able to find peace and comfort as you reflect on your precious boys. Sending hugs.
Hugs to you. the holidays can be a hard time of year. I know someone whose daughter would have been in her 20's and she says she still thinks about what she would be like and doing. They will always be a part of our hearts. Nicki
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