My life sucks big time right now.....

  • Oh my goodness...you really got hit hard with the flooding. I'm glad your house is okay though. I hope the roads do open up soon. I imagine that the isolation would be really difficult, especially approaching the anniversary of Shane'a death.

    Thinking of you,

    Marissa

  • Thinking of you right now, and worried about you, so sorry life feels so overwhelming right now.  Your town is flooded and your heart sounds flooded too.  Grief is like a terrible rain, and sometimes it feels like it won't let up.  Your love for your children is deep and powerful, your loss and missing of them deep like the water.  I am so relieved you found Share when you did to describe some of the sorrow, but I worry that it is not enough.

    I want and need you to have some other places that are safe to release some of this rain.  Your safety, your comfort, your relief is essential, because you are a very important mama.  Your words are deep and express a great deal of sorrow and I am concerned about you.  

    I wonder if you could do something for yourself that you may or may not have done before.  I would like you to reach out beyond Share to a trusted friend, family member, even better, a gifted, compassionate and intelligent counselor who understands the pain of profound life losses - of your beloved babies - and who can insure you get support, comfort, relief, a shoulder to cry on, a true listening ear.  You need and deserve this.  The local hospital, the local family services agency or social work department at the hospital can help you find this person.

    You have built a beautiful, loving, honest blog and tribute here, but Share is never enough for any member.  And when I hear your words that you cannot take it anymore, I want to make sure you are safe, that you will not hurt yourself or anyone else.  If you have thoughts like this, can I ask that you call 911 or have someone take you to the emergency room? I am serious about this.

    The photos you share show people helping each other through the floods in your town-this is how we get through crisis, this is how we move through waters that are too deep, this is how we can be helped in a flood.  By others that care deeply and are able at that moment to usher you through the toughest times.  I need you to seek that out.  Because your 18 yo daughter and others near you and on Share need you to be okay, and will at times need you to be the strong one to usher them through the hard rains of life.  And now it is your turn to be ushered through.

    Remember that grief, like the rain, like this terrible flood in your town, ebbs and flows, it recedes and the sun comes through once again.  I wish this for you right now, that the sun will peek through and give you relief from the rawest grief.  

    Please reach out to someone who can support you through this, close by, face to face, rather than having all the support at a distance here.  And let me and others know that you have done so, so we too can sleep knowing you are safe and cared for, and that the floods in your town and heart are able to recede.

    With Deepest Care, Liza Cooper, LMSW, March of Dimes