Many of you know the situation with Allison's father from previous posts and conversations, her father has recently entered back into society. For the first time we actually talked about Allison and her death. Allison died September 27, 2011. It took us nearly four and half years for us to talk about the biggest and most traumatic event that took place in our lives. I guess better late than never. It was good for us to actually be able to have that conversation. As we were talking I came to the conclusion that I am glad that he wasn't there for me after she died. Dealing with her death and learning how to navigate through life as I grieved would have been easier with him there. However, I am a stronger person now that I had to deal with her death by myself. Plus I got to keep all of her ashes and the memory box to myself.
We are no longer teenagers who just loss a baby any more. Time has changed things in numerous ways. I have matured because of her death and appears to have matured a little. This conversation was due. I can't hate him forever, it takes too much energy and I need all of my energy focused on school work and work. I think that it honors Allison's life if we are on speaking terms and have respect for each other.
As always, your optimism is very refreshing and something to look up to. I'm glad you could talk to Allison's dad and get some peace from it.
Love and Hugs
You always show such maturity and love for your daughter in your posts. I'm so glad you had that conversation and that you are on speaking terms if only because that's what you want. You are so strong and such an inspiration. Keep on making Allison proud.
I'm glad you were finally able to have that conversation. and you are right that you need to focus that energy on positive things in your life and not on him. Nicki
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