It's been awhile since I have been on. A lot is different, I moved back to Michigan from Texas. I wouldn't recommend driving straight to the other side of the country. But I am back in the lovely mitten state for now, so hand wave and snaps.
Since I have been back I have been in contact with Allison's father, for those who don't know I really don't have anything nice to say about her father. He appeared to be getting his life in order. I started to feel guilty for having all of Allison's ashes and pictures, along with her memory box. I was feeling so guilty that I considered giving him some of her Ashes, so he could have a piece of her too, Then his normal ways appeared over his mask of law abiding citizen. I learned a lesson that I thought I learned a long time ago. Some people never grow to a level of adult maturity. More importantly I learned that I don't need to share Allison. We have talked about who we share our stories with and what stories to tell. If I won't tell someone who doesn't deserve to know about Allison then I don't need to feel obligated to share Allison with someone who doesn't deserve any part of her. I would feel more guilty if something would to have happened to parts of Allison if, and lets face it when, her father gets arrested again.
You see parents fighting over custody of their child or children all the time. I would have never guessed that I would have been fighting over custody, if you will, of Allison. Even though that it has been 5 years since Allison's death I guess I am still learning lessons from her death.
So glad you feel safe to come to share and vent. I am sorry you are going through this. Hugs!
So sorry you are having problems with Allison's father again. You are right, you shouldn't feel guilty or obligated to give him things if he is not deserving of them. Hope your move went well and things are otherwise going well for you in Michigan!
Welcome back and glad to see you made it back to Michigan safe! Im sorry that Allison's father let you down again. Sending you a million hugs and so much love!
I'm sorry he is not the kind of man you and Allison deserve. I certainly know the disappointment of trying to share and then remembering he'd rather just forget (not that Allison's dad is the same, but whatever it is, it obviously sucks). You DON'T have to share her, and I agree that only those who can honor her memory and celebrate her kick-A momma should get to know her at all.
So nice to see you back! I am sorry he is once again letting you down. I don't blame you for not wanting to share her- I'm not sure I would share Josie with anyone, under any circumstances. I wouldn't want any part of her not with me, although I commend you on your grace and desire to be fair and share with her father.
Love and Hugs
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