This week's "Topic Tuesday" was about maternity leave with a loss child or a NICU baby. For those of you who are unaware, I lost my daughter Allison when I was a Junior in High School. Allison died Tuesday, September 27, 2011 at twenty weeks gestation. I was discharged from the hospital that Thursday. As a Junior grades are extremely important for future goals. I decided to go back to school the very next Monday. I guess you could say I took a week of maternity leave off. Being an honor roll student I didn't want to fall behind, which could easily happen in core classes like Chemistry. Students can only miss so many school days before getting into trouble.
Looking back now, nearly six years later, I should have given myself time to at least fully process the traumatic event that had just taken place. Kids are cruel and look for any weakness that they can exploit. Within two weeks of her death a classmate threw her death in my face and called her a ***, resulting in me punching him in the face.
Losing a child is already one of, if not the, most challenging and heart breaking traumatic events that could ever take place. Being a high school student who was an Angel Mom I had to navigate through my grief as I focus on my future.
Fast forwarding to nearly six years later I am 34 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby and I work for a nonprofit organization that has less than 50 employees. My maternity leave will be unpaid, however they are working with me in terms of time off. I can take as long of a leave as I want but it's unpaid. Most households are two income households, so I won't be taken much of a maternity leave if I want to pay all of my bills.
Congrats on 34 weeks!!! I hope that you are resting your feet as you can. Elevate, soak, repeat. I know you're thinking about leave, bills that will keep coming, and the like. You have probably already done your research here, but you might qualify for some programs if interested. You're doing amazing and just keep focused on each day/week as it comes.
I think there are a lot of us here who wish we had done this or that in those very raw, early moments and days after loss. So much to process and pain to endure, but you do what feels right in the moment or because you do not know what else to do. How can one know? You do your best and keep going.
Your angel Allison is very proud of her mommy:)
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