As of 9/16/17 at about 5pm, I am a married woman!! Dennis is officially Abbey's step dad and we are a "real" family now! The first thing I said to Dennis when we walked away was "Its Over!" I am so very freaking happy to be done planning and scheduling and ordering and buying and thinking about so many things. It is awesome when people ask me what I'm doing and I do not say "wedding stuff." Its so liberating!! Being the organization nerd that I am, I had always thought that I would really enjoy wedding planning....and I did....when I first made my binder and set up the colors and decided what I wanted. I even like details....until I was trying to enjoy a Sunday afternoon with family and football but instead was in the backyard spraying acrylic modge podge sealant on my hand painted wooden hangers....*eyeroll*
I really thought I would struggle at the ceremony. We had a special and unique one planned, where I picked out the official vowes, we wrote our own thoughts for ring exchange and Dennis took a moment to make vowes to Abbey and give her a necklace. I knew that would be the hardest part for me emotionally. I included most of our friends' children in the wedding party, 5 total, including Abbey. One of the girls was her fellow "jr bridesmaid" and it was very intentional. She is too old to be a flower girl, and I couldn't bear to watch her walk on her own. I knew I would think that Josie is suppose to be next to her, and I also didn't want her to be nervous. So one of her bffs Zoey stood in, who is almost exactly one year older than her. I was comforted by watching both of them walk up the aisle to the chapel platform, knowing she had someone to walk beside her. Zoey's brother was our "ring security" and my flower girls are daughters of a groomsmen and their mother did a reading. We really wanted our relationship, who we are and how much love we have for our family and friends to show in our ceremony. Our readings were To Love is Not to Possess and Marry Your Best Friend, read by Phahn28, whose husband was also a groomsman. I couldn't have been more happy with the people who were there for us, who have been since the beginning of our relationship.
There was a moment when I felt myself getting really caught up in the moment, and thinking about how lucky I am, yet how I wished that Josie and my granny could be there. Then, a tiny breeze stirred and leaves began to fall from the branches. Tiny leaves on tiny breezes, softly and slowly drifting all around us. It was as so beautiful and seemed to be the reminder I needed that those I loved were with me and happy for me.
It has been a long time since I experienced so many emotions all at once! I went from nervous and anxious, to simply jittery, to awash with emotion and had to really choke up some tears that were about to spill down during my eyeliner application. My best friend and maid of honor was remarking how she wanted a pro-pic with Abbey, and how much that meant to her. Then all of the feelings I had about her love for my daughter and our friendship threatened to come out of eyeballs. She is one of the only people that I met between losing Josie and having Abbey who is still in my life. Not all 20 somethings will hang out and snuggle a newborn on Saturday nights instead of hang out at bars, or will entertain your 15 month old so that you can get your hair done in peace. I hope one day I can repay her for always being there when I need her. It also made me think about how different my life would be if Josie was here. I often wonder if Abbey would even exist...would I be in a happy and healthy marriage or hanging on to something that I knew deep in my heart wasn't right for me.
At the reception we had a candle burning in memory of those not with us, and I hope that Josie knows she was especially remembered and loved that day.
I will leave you with my favorite photo taken that day, photoshopped by a good friend. I tear up everything I see how Abbey is looking at Dennis and their love for each other. I hope that their relationship continues to grow and we can recreate this photo on her wedding day.
Congratulations, Brandi! I'm so happy for you, Abbey and Dennis! And I have no doubt that Josie and your Granny were there with you. They are with you every day. Enjoy your beautiful life. You deserve every happiness.
Huge congrats, Brandi! What a beautiful family!
Sounds like a beautiful wedding - what a great picture :)
No doubt, Josie and your Granny were shining their love down on you all on this very special day .
So, so happy for you. That picture really is beautiful. I love that you could feel your Granny and Josie all around you as you said your vows.
Much love always,
Congratulations to you Brandi on your recent nuptials! Been reading your posts since Abbey had mentioned you two should get married:) Beautiful picture of all of you together on this very special day! Love your dress and your hair (and the purple)!
Enjoy and congrats again,
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