Leaps & Turns

  • Brandi, I'm sending you huge hugs right now. OMG! You totally reacted well to that phone call and it was good to move her outta there as she was telling that she wasn't feeling safe. I always wonder where the heck is the supervision? I know things can happen quickly anywhere, but extra eyes are always appreciated.

    I know that it's not the same, but I understand those feelings of not being able to protect as we had an incident when D was in 1st grade. He was a young 5. I seriously hadn't thought about this one and thought we had more time. During recess, he was playing tag with some other boys and when he went to tag a kid, the kid kicked him hard in his private area. D said that he fell to the ground crying while all of the other boys just laughed! When he came home and told me all of this, I asked him if he told anyone like the person on duty. He said no because he thought no one would listen and the person didn't see it happen. He was able to tell me who kicked him, what class he was in, and the laughing kids. This was the first incident we had with his former brick and mortar school a.k.a. public daycare. The kid was talked to I guess and D stayed away from that type of play. Apparently, recess was a total nose pick anyway. I thought we had more time to explain that it would hurt to be kicked there and I felt horrible for not providing him with that information. I didn't think to tell my child to be watchful of other kids who might be more physical on the playground. In my naive mind at the time, kids were sweet and would keep their hands to themselves. In 3rd grade, we had lunch room situations of other "hot lunch" kids taking his "from home" food. Oy!

    All of these feelings were amplified when T was in public preschool and Kinder. He did not have the speech to explain. He had been bitten pretty badly on the arm and had gone over to staff crying. I told them that they needed to be looking him over, pushing up his sleeves too as he never cries and an indication that "something" has happened. I also felt horrible when I'd see an incident report from daycare. I heard somewhere that most daycare incidences occur in the afternoons from somewhere like 3-5 p.m. when staff is tired. I'd cringe when I'd read 3:35 p.m. or 4:15 p.m. kicking myself for stopping at the store on the way to the daycare. Urgh . . .

    I'm SO glad that you taught her the real names of all of her parts.  I'm so glad that she was able to say what happened. I don't agree with the verbiage either that "she found herself in a situation." I'm taking more sips of my favorite beverage for you:) I hope that this newer camp is working out and that she enjoys going there.

    Hugs mama,


  • I think you did an awesome job handling the situation at the school...From my background as  a teacher that almost seems learned behavior  and it sends up radar signals of what is going on in his life and I hope the school is looking into this and taking the appropriate steps on their end.  I also think that it really sucks that you are the one that has to move your child while that child gets to stay and be around the other children...I go down that rabbit hole a lot...and have been doing so a lot this summer. It's so hard playing the woulda, coulda, shoulda we play with ourselves and it's just not fair we have to.  It sounds like she had a blast at camp and don't you love how they always come home with less then they go with.  sending a big hug. Nicki

  • Brandi, i am so sorry that this happened to Abbey. You for sure made the right decision to get her out of there. I think i would have flipped over that woman describing the situation about how she found herself in a situation. Almost seems like she was blaming her.

    I think our rainbows put us into overdrive, as I know i am hyper vigilant too. But it's our job to protect our kids, and that is exactly what you did.

    I am glad she was able to talk to you about it. Many hugs to both of you as you figure out next steps.


  • Brandi, I'm so sorry this happened to Abbey! Big hugs to both of you. I don't think  you overreacted at all. I would have moved my child too....without a second thought. I'm very happy that Abbey shared with you exactly what happened. That is the most important part in all of this.

    The school administration, staff and that child's parents need to be aware of what has happened. And like Nikki said... as a teacher and parent this is a huge red flag for that child who touched Abbey in that manner. At this age... I don't see this as typical at all.

    I hope that time allows both of you to feel more settled and safe in her new school.


  • Brandi -

    I think you handled this situation very well. Don't beat yourself up with guilt. You can't foresee everything that could possibly happen every single day. You talk, you teach, and you reinforce. The school failed in its response, and I would have pulled her in a heartbeat as well.  

    Sending you hugs.