Yesterday in between the bleeding my boys came after 6:30pm to spend some time with me. Jason (5yr old) he was so excited to see me & Victor (3yr old) he was hesitant at first but then he was all over me & wouldn't stop hugging & kissing on me. I realized once he started talking that his voice got squeakier & he was talking way more than before. He actually behaved himself & he wouldn't stop telling me & Jas "Happy Valentine's Day" & he kept hugging Jas & I thought it was beyond adorable because it's very rare I get to see them be this lovey & I was enjoying it bunches. He even smiled for a picture I was trying to take of the three of us! He was sad he had to leave but he threw no fits. Seeing them yesterday was the cup of tea I really needed, especially after the day I was having. The rest of the night was eventful until almost 2am when I woke up to use the bathroom & I was bleeding again & it was more than it had been before the boys got here, it was more red too. It had even been dripping to the floor when I walked real quick to my bed to call the nurse because I didn't want to pull the cord & have 5 nurses rushing in & freaking my boyfriend out of his sleep. I was on monitor until around 3:30-ish & until the on & off small contractions & bleeding stopped. I was freaking out internally & I was trying to not cry again & my night nurse is one of the rare that have caught me crying when I bleed because I freak out & she was keeping me calm. Eventually I went back to sleep but I was scared.
This morning I was woken up near 9am to check my blood pressure & even though I have low blood pressure apparently it was lower than usual & the nurse sent me to the bathroom to check for bleeding. I went & when I wiped I was again & it was more red than in the middle of the night. Right when she was going to call my OB she actually walked in & she confessed that now everyone is worried, it's not just me worried because I keep bleeding on & off & it's red now & not pink. She said it's a waiting game now to see what happens with this blood because it only tends to happen when I get up to go to the bathroom. They did an ultrasound today & the tech said my baby is beautiful & she's real good & she even has hairs on her head! So I have no idea what will happen. I have been bleeding on & off since Sunday & even though I will be 33 weeks this Friday & my OB says she will be fine if she was born now, it still scares me a bunch.
I'm beyond thankful I have this site & I figured out how to do a blog because letting this out is very helpful for me...in a way it's like going to see a counselor & sitting there for the hour talking about my feelings. I always write in a journal but writing with a pen is not as faster as typing & sometimes it bothers my IVs when I try to write. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this blog, it's extremely helpful.
I'm so glad your visit with your boys went well! What a special blessing that was for you.
I'm sorry the bleeding is continuing. You're doing all you can and you're stronger than you know. I'm glad to hear that your sweet baby is doing well despite all of this.
I just left a long-winded reply (sorry!) on your blog post from yesterday. And then saw this post so... now you have some reading material. ;-)
Thanks for updating. I'm glad writing here is helping you find some peace. Hang in there. You're doing great!
I'm sorry about the bleeding, the anxiety its causing you is very understandable. Its reassuring to know that the baby looks good on the ultrasound and its so wonderful you have kind nurses who help keep you calm while going through all of this.
I'm so happy you found our site and that blogging is helping you while you're on bed rest. I don't even have to tell you to keep us posted because you are doing an awesome job at that!
You are doing much better than I would be, hospitals make me ridiculously uncomfortable.
Love and Hugs
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