I have felt like I'm losing my mind. The mixture of rarely any sleep, stress, two crazy boys, & looks like a baby with colicky is too much. I really don't know how I function at all in any way because I feel my body & my soul beyond tired & drained. Today was one of those days my boys kept fighting ALL day over any little thing while baby girl was cranky because she was in what seemed some sort of pain or some sort of discomfort. I grabbed the old chest carrier mom found while she was here & threw it on & walked around the house with her on my chest. She actually LOVED it & calmed down right away. It was hard doing anything like that with her but it was still something. I was even battling a dang WASP for over 15mins with her on my chest! Eventually I of course put her down in case the thing came after us, I didn't want her getting stung. I called today for a counselor or what everyone calls a therapist & my first appointment is on Monday. I'm real nervous about it but I honestly can't wait because I have felt VERY overwhelmed & it's just hard.
On Tuesday it was baby girl's month check up & it went great!! She weighs 7lbs & 8oz! She had one shot so momma was more upset about it than she was hahaha. But that day after the appointment was one of the worst days for me. Or at least an example of a real bad day. My 3yr old that has the severe angry tantrums had one & then was horribly behaved while I was at a WIC appointment & the person that was supposed to be helping me wasn't being much of a big help, he just let my son do whatever he pleased & I was running after my son while holding a hysterical baby while trying to talk to the woman behind the window. Everyone kept looking at me weird & giving me the stank eye & I felt like they were going to throw me out. When I dropped my "help" off, I started crying...my boys fell asleep in the back seat after 2mins of driving & I cried the 45min drive home. I honestly don't know how I even made it home with the way I was feeling. When I made it home it got even worse with his anger problems & the baby was hysterical. I don't know how I'm doing it but I am. I just want her to not always be in so much pain & have him get over the anger problems... :(
PS - To answer the comments from my last post, my background was on retail from '09-'15 & then two daycare centers from '15 until I ended up in the hospital on bed rest back in Feb.
Hello! I am so sorry that things are quite crazy for you. I have two rainbow girls -- 8 and 5 1/2, and the bickering, drama and doing things they shouldn't send me skyward some days. I am sure it is even more difficult with a little one as well.
I hope that your counseling appointment goes well. I went to one after I lost my sons, and then started again last year when my heart and head needed someone to help me sort things out about my life. I hope that counseling helps you as well.
Check in and let us know how you are, how the kids are -- and how things are going in general.
Hang in there...just breathe and take it one day at a time. My husband and I started seeing a counselor when my son died. We had stopped when we were in a good place then we went back to help clear our heads with family drama. A counselor can be a wonderful tool to help us figure things out, and a safe place to just say what we are feeling. hugs to you . Nicki
Hoping you are feeling alittle better after your appointment! I'm hoping by posting here, you are feeling some relief and support as well, but I'm so glad you made an appointment with your counselor. Thinking of you today and everyday!
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