I have mixed feelings found...my OB just told me I can go home either today or tomorrow. I told her I was wondering about tomorrow morning but she said she will be busy with surgery & I have an appointment to go to before 3:30pm...so she's letting me go home tonight after dinner time & I'm....I'm actually crying. I was preparing myself to leave my baby behind in the NICU tomorrow & now that I have to leave today, I have so many mixed emotions coming at me & I don't know what to do. It'll be the first time I go home empty handed & have to leave my baby behind & I'm finding it so hard. I had just come up from seeing her, she is off the oxygen & they told me if she keeps doing well breathing on her own that I can hold her for the first time later. I was even able to change her diaper for the first time too! I was feeling so excited & so happy until realizing I have to go home & leave her behind. I don't know if I can do it...this is far too hard for me.
I'm glad to hear that baby Eden is stable and doing well. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all these conflicting emotions. I think its the worst when you have mentally prepared for one thing and then have to change it up at the last minute. I know its unthinkable to leave the hospital without your baby girl but you are strong and you can do this. Just know that she is getting what she needs in the NICU and you can be there for her even after you're released. We are still here for you. Keep us updated.
Love and Hugs
I'm so sorry, I know this is beyond hard. It's impossible to think about leaving. But you can do this, and we are all here to help you get through it. One thing that really helped me is calling to check on my little ones when I was away. And you'll be right back in the morning! Lot of hugs to get you through this time!
What you're facing is so very hard. I understand completely what you're feeling. I still remember the day I had to leave my twin girls behind in the NICU. It will leave it's mark on your heart just like each step in this unplanned path has. But you will get through this. I can't honestly tell you how but you do. I called the NICU every night just before going to bed for an update and then the first thing in the morning to how the night went. I even called in the middle of the night if I would wake and wonder. The nurses know and understand how hard this is for you and will not mind your calls at all. Take things one step at a time.
On a positive note I'm so very happy to hear how well your sweet girl is doing. Try to hold onto that pure joy you are feeling at the diaper change and possibility of being able to hold her. I can't wait to hear how that goes.
Know that we are here for you as you make this transition and will help hold you up.
Sending big hugs today!
It is so hard to leave the hospital without your baby. The day I got released I refused to get dressed and stayed in my pj's. The nurse had to write me a note saying I was allowed to leave in case security stopped me. Renember you can call in and check on your baby. You got this and sending many hugs. Nicki
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