Today everyone's favorite girl turned a month old!!!! I can't believe a whole month has passed since she was born!! I feel like I just brought her home last week! It has been a major struggle emotionally, mentally, & physically. A few weeks ago I went back to the hospital but in the new town & I was told I had kidney stones & an UTI again & every day I struggle with the fact I feel sick like I'm getting a cold or something & my whole body hurts. Today my mom came from Jersey, I was more than excited because I hadn't seen her since October when my 3yr old had brain surgery. She says she will be here for two weeks so I'm very glad I get to have her help for whatever time she will be here for. I'm so glad she came because she is the type that will make plans with you & then change her mind last minute or just not bring the subject up anymore. I have felt horribly because there's still a lot for me to do in the new place but with the lack of sleep & feeling sick I haven't really been able to do much at all. I feel like I'm already letting my boyfriend down because not much is being done. I try as much as I can but I have decided to just take care of me first & worry about the house later. Before yesterday I threw up & today my chest has been hurting, I have no idea what's going on with my body. Yesterday the realtors for the house came by to sort of talk to us & see the house because the house is up for sale for investors to buy & our lease will not be in any danger at all & we ended up finding out that if we wanted we could buy the house before any investors do it!!! We may just go ahead & do it, I'm not sure yet what will happen but I'm up for it! I told my boyfriend that the first thing I will want to do when we have the money is put up a fence around our property so that way I won't have to worry about the boys running crazily in the back & stuff. So hopefully that goes good!
A few days ago we realized that Eden can turn her head from side to side while laying on her tummy!!! We were amazed by this! After a few days of being born she was already lifting her head up & she's doing it more now. Rarely I let her lay on her tummy since of the cautions & paranoia of SIDS but she has been going thru a little bit of gas problems & one time when I had her laying on my chest she calmed down & when I put her on her back she went nuts & seemed like she was in a lot of pain. I tried to move away from her on my bed but her body sort of rolled towards me & she went on her tummy & right away she seemed to calm down & went to sleep. So if I see she is really being bothered by her tummy & I have done all I can to try & help her, I let her lay on her tummy & I sit next to her watching her like a hawk to make sure nothing happens to her. Her second day on her tummy, I was next to her & he was standing & we were talking, I looked at her & her head was turned the other way! I was so confused! I asked him about it & he wasn't sure about how her head was. Then a few minutes later it was back to where it had been! It shocked us!! We haven't personally SEEN her do it but looking at her & finding her like that is just far beyond amazing! I can't believe she's so strong! She is more awake now & more alert & seems more bigger to me than before & it makes me very happy. When she cries & I pick her up I go "hey, hey, hey" very softly & she slowly stops crying & opens her beautiful eyes & stares at me & I think it's the most beautiful thing ever! Her eyes to ME seem greenish...her eyebrows are white so people think she will be a blondie! If she ends up being a blond & green eyed girly she will be just like my grandma, my mom's mom! I love how more awake she is starting to be because during the day in between feedings I don't let her fall asleep completely. I feel bad by detaching her when she is in the verge of falling asleep & burping her & just holding her facing me or putting her down on my bed facing me to wake her but I think it's letting her know "hey, wait a sec....I think momma wants me to stay awake for a little bit to hang out!" & she just hangs out for a little while & then she either falls asleep or asks for milk or her bobo (paci) & then fall asleep.
I'm honestly dreading tomorrow though....tomorrow is the one year of the passing of my grandfather (my mom's dad) & I have NO idea what state I will be emotionally & mentally. But I am so thankful that my mom is here so we can be here for each other since we couldn't be last year when he passed & then my boyfriend is also off from work so I will have his support too. When grandpa passed I hadn't met my boyfriend yet, I met him a week or two later at a point in my life where I just wanted to die & I felt like I was dying & there was no point for me to live anymore. But then I had a friend over & told me I needed friends & what-not so two days after speaking with my friend I ended up meeting my boyfriend & he changed my life. I'm thankful he came when he did...he sort of saved my life & I don't know if he knows that. I'm just glad I won't be alone at home like I was last year & I will have some support. I was even thinking about just writing tomorrow about grandpa & his passing so I can let it out. Technically he died a year today but he was revived & lived until the next day...but I may need the extra venting & I have no other place in my mind to do it but on here. So I apologize in advance if I do decide to dedicate tomorrow my blog for him & then write about anything else.
On a happy note! I'm not sure if I wrote about this in my last blog BUT last Friday was my kids last day at daycare & now they will be with me all day every day again. This week is the first week with them home & it's been insane! The last day I fought tears & DIDN'T cry! But Jason's teacher said that she will take him one day on a weekend to have him finish some stuff he wasn't able to do & that she will speak with the director to see if it will be okay to have him be a part of the Pre-K graduation since we were thinking of being there so he can watch his friends graduate & she doesn't want him to feel any sort of way for not being a part of it. So hopefully my baby can still have his graduation!!! Some time this month will be the enrolling of Kinder for him & I'm super excited but nervous at the same time!!! Can't believe he's 5 & about to start big boy school!! I already enrolled Victor in preschool & I got teary eyed when I was given the paper work! He will be attending preschool in Sept in a school SCHOOL & a little bus will be picking him up from home & dropping him off too!! Both my boys will be shipped off to school in Sept & I'm both excited & nervous mixed in with sadness...they're so big already! But I'm super happy & excited about it! I'm thinking of doing a stay at home job but I have NO idea what to do or WHERE to look. That way I don't have to worry about daycare costs & when the boys are off to school I can just stay home & work while caring for Eden. But I really have no idea what kind of jobs I could do & it's driving me nuts! Hahaha
P.S. Can someone help me figure out how to share with you guys a picture of baby girl?? I have no idea how to do it so I simply just put one of her pics up as my profile picture. I want you guys to meet her & my boys!
Congrats on Eden being home for one month now. That's awesome. It sounds like you have had a lot going on so I'm glad you're Mom is able to come stay with you for a bit and help you out. Hopefully you'll be able to get some good rest and start feeling better.
As for the picture you should see an upload option about the blog post box when you're writing a new blog post. It's along the top of the box in the same area you would find the option to change your font, etc. If you hover your mouse over it you'll see it offers the option to upload a photo. The size of the photo can be an issue sometimes too if the file is too large.
I hope you start feeling better soon. Enjoy your visit with your Mom.
Sounds like sweet Eden is getting so big :) So happy to hear that you guys are settling into your new home and getting on with life as a family of 5. Glad your mom will be there to hopefully give you alittle help and rest! I hope you start feeling better.
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