Eli's mommy

Hi my name is heather . My husband and I planned our pregnancy .. We got pregnant in 

october  and I have never been so excited . Had a few scares in the beginning but after 12 weeks the seemed to be fine until we went in for our 24 week appointment . They did a ultrasound on me and said my fluid was low. So theN they checked  my cervix I was dilated and funneled also I almost did not have a cervix left . I was admired to the hospital put on mag and then had to be transferred to another hospital because they could not Handel a baby at 24 weeks .. I got to the other hospital and lasted 3 days before we had our son on march 13th 2014 at 8:50 he weighed 1.9 and was 12.4 inches Long . He came out trying to cry and he was the most beautiful  baby I have ever seen . He did great until the 8th day they changed his breathing Machine because he had a brain bleed . He had a 4 on the left side and a 2 on the right we where devastated .... He would not breath on this new me chine he held his breath and was not even trying .. Finally the next morning they had to switch him back .he was lethargic I thought it was because he was tired . he was getting sick I thought his belly was looking bigger but the nurse said it was not measuring different .. So I brushed it off . At his care time at 12 he did not pee that was very weird for him because he always peed a lot .. The nurse said he had a blow out  Diaper that morning and she was not worried. At 3 am the next morning they called to tell me our baby boy was sick and they had started him back on antibiotics and his bp was stables asked if I should hurry there but they told me to get some rest he was stable . I got there the next morning I did not even recognize our baby :( he was so swollen he had a catheter and still no urine   .. They could not figure out what was wrong.. After the third x ray they found a bowl obstruction .. They only could open him up and let the gas out because  he would not make it through surgery . That did not help ... That night we decide to make him a dnr because he was already on three blood pressure medic end and his blood pressure still was not good he was loosing blood flow in his feet and legs .. They said they where gonna try a few more things ... I prayed so hard for a miracle ... The next day they said they could continue care but they had tried eveything .. He was not getting better just worse . They said even if he did make it his Quality of life would probably be poor . He started having seizures ... My heart was breaking for him .. So small and helpless my husband and I decided we could not watch our baby suffer any more .. We called the family in and we held him before the took the vent out. I held him while they took everything off and out ... We let our family hold him and he passed away on my arms ... I don't know why things like this happen but Eli was so special .. He touched more peoples lives in 11 days theN I have my whole life .. I miss our angel baby ..    

3 Replies

  • In reply to lvazquez:

    Eli's mommy,

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss.  I am sending prayers and hugs to you and your family.

    I hope you find a bit of comfort from other mother's traveling this similar journey on this site.

    Big hugs,


  • In reply to lvazquez:

    I am so sorry for your loss.  I too had to make the same decisions you had to when my son was two weeks old.  I remember having to give the doctor the dnr order and how hard it was to say those words and then a few days later making the most horrible decision of my life to pull him off of life support.  Many hugs to you and we are here on Share to listen and give support when you need to share more.

  • Eli's mommy, welcome to Share. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy. There just aren't any words to take the pain away . . . I can't imagine having to make those decisions as parents. I do know what it's like to hold your angel in your arms and just take him all in. Please continue to lean on family and friends for support. There are many angel moms on this site who are traveling similar journeys. I hope that you find more comfort and support here.