Premature birth and infant loss

Hello my name is Lashana. Back on December 15, 2011. I had my son at 28 weeks due to infection so they say. When I went into labor and had him the doctor said it was placenta abruption. Baby boy is now 6 years old healthy and doing great.  Six years later, I tried again. This time is was a baby girl, I was so happy and excited. On Feb 24, 2018 I woke up soo much pain in adobmen and back. Rushed to the hospital. Doctors told me my placenta  abrupted it was out of the blue and it happened sudden. When checked for heartbeat my baby girl was gone already. It devasted me that I had to deliver a stillborn girl. The daughter I was so happy to meet.  I was 34 weeks pregnant.  She would of been my 3rd child. I’m so devastated. I blamed myself for it all. Everything was going fine and good with this pregnancy.  It was the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through. I want another baby girl  but at the same time Im afraid of what might happen.  My faith is strong. I just want one more chance to make a healthy baby.

3 Replies

  • Hi Lashana, thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. This is one of the hardest, most traumatic experiences anyone can undergo. Please don't blame yourself. You are a wonderful mom, and you did everything you could for your daughter. There are so many factors in pregnancy that we can't control, so much that we still don't understand. I know your strength and faith will carry you through this journey, and I'll be thinking of you and sending you hugs.
  • Welcome Lashana. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. I can't imagine how hard this is for you.
    I am happy to hear how well your son is doing after his early birth.

    Sending prayers for peace in your heart. You've been through so much.
  • Hello and Welcome,
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl, and that you find yourself here. I lost my first baby girl to Trisomy 18, 11 years ago. Its a path no one should have to walk and a journey we shouldn't have to experience. I know its so hard, as mothers we take responsibility for everything, but I hope that you can be gentle with yourself and know that this was not your fault. Your baby girl knows how much you love her and how much she was wanted. Wishing you peace and strength as you navigate this loss.
    Love and Hugs