A Mom of 23w6d baby Abagail, went to Heaven at 13 days old

My husband and I, Renee, have dealt with infertility for over 10 years. Every year hoping and planning to start our family. Finally after years of hardships, husbands cancer 3x, family deaths and caregiving, financial difficulties, other health issues, etc. We were able to do IVF, traveling to a different city, and got pregnant first FET. Going to appointments out of town, many medications, morning sickness, all filled our days, but the perfect baby girl and pregnancy made it the happiest and most hopeful time of our lives!
The new year came and a few weeks into second trimester, I finally started feeling better and having more energy and showing off my new baby bump. I was enjoying my pregnancy and looking forward to having my baby. I was planning my baby registry and baby shower and setting up the nursery. I had my baby's anatomy scan and met with my Dr to go over the results, everything was perfect! We were beyond excited and felt we had jumped the big hurdle and sigh of relief everything was perfect for baby and me.
A week later I met up with my mom to help label and send out our baby shower invitations. Shortly after we had finished, I was rushed by ambulance to Labor and Delivery. I had no symptoms that i had recognized, but i felt a balloon feeling coming out. Once at Labor and Delivery light contractions started, and they did everything they could to stop preterm labor.
The next day on March 13th 2018, at 23 weeks 6 days pregnant, I gave birth to my baby girl Abagail by classical C-section. She was helped and stayed in the NICU as she was so young and immature. The hardest part was not being able to hold her and kiss her. She had many ups and downs and long days for us all. The last day with her, as her body was failing and there was nothing left to do to help her, my husband and I were finally able to hold her and love on her. It was the best day of my life, but paired with the worst day of my life. She lived for 13 days before passing and joining Heaven March 26th 2018.
I miss her so much and hate that i can't bring her home and watch her grow up. I had so many dreams of us as a family. I am glad she is in Heaven, no more pain or suffering and worshipping before God with my brother Tracy and Grandpa Jim and other family members and all the saints. I just wish Heaven wasn't so far away...

2 Replies

  • Hello and welcome to Share. I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your baby girl Abagail. It is heartbreaking to know that another parent is grieving. You have been through so much and I can feel the love you have for her in your post. You still must be feeling raw and numb. March is a difficult month for us as well. We said hello and goodbye to our son 9 years ago. It still can hit hard some days and it does still hurt. This site has helped me navigate so many different feelings along the way. I hope that it can do the same for you.

    Wishing you both strength and love,

  • Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Abigail. I lost my daughter a little over 11 years ago. I wish I could give you a huge hug. I still remember how hard those first days weeks and months are. Please know you are not alone in this journey. We are all here for you.

    So much love,