Hello

After 10 years of trying to have a baby and 2 failed IVF attempts we became pregnant through our 3rd IVF cycle. We did a FET on December 15 and had confirmed pregnancy on December 26. I was so nervous that something would go wrong. We were cautiously optimistic and became more hopeful with each passing week. At week 12 I told my Ob that I needed to hear the baby’s heartbeat each visit because I couldn’t believe that we would bring a baby home from the hospital. I never imagined that my fear would become reality. At 22 weeks 3 days I coughed very hard in the morning and felt like a balloon was being blown out. That morning at work I began to have severe pains. The first thought was that I pulled something when I coughed. The pain became so unbearable that I left work. Within a few hours I was at my doctors - she told me that the amniotic sac was protruding. We immediately went to the hospital where they attempted to prevent my water from breaking. That evening I vomited and my water broke. Our little guy still had amniotic fluid around him and was thriving. I spent the next few days in the hospital on bed rest. The morning of May 5 at 22 weeks 6 days I had such severe pains, but nothing registered on the contraction monitor. Our son was born at 5:04 AM. The hospital had prepared us that only comfort care would be provided given his gestational age. He weighed 1 pound 4.6 ounces and was 12.5 inches in length. He lived for 2 1/2 hours. He was so beautiful and perfect. I feel blessed to be his mommy, but I miss him tremendously. I waited so long to be a mommy. I can say with 100% certainty that I would rather have the short time I had with Cole than to never know that kind of love.

4 Replies

  • In reply to Josie12907:

    Welcome to Share. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of you sweet Cole. I lost my sweet Trinity almost 12 years ago. I hope you find as much love, comfort, and support as I have found here at SHARE. Know you are not alone in this journey.

    Much love
    Samantha
  • Welcome to Share, though I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. I can only imagine how much you are missing your sweet Cole. I know many of our Share Moms here have experienced a similar loss and can and will provide incredible support for you.

    Take care of yourself and know that we're all here for you.
    Karri
  • In reply to Josie12907:

    Hello, and welcome. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Cole. I lost twin boys 11 years ago at 22w5d, and it was the same thing ... only comfort care.

    Please take care of yourself. Share is what helped me survive, and I hope you find the same comfort here.

    Hugs and love to you.

    Erin
  • Hello and Welcome, although I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I am so very deeply sorry for the loss of your son Cole. I lost my first daughter to Trisomy 18, 11 years ago. This is a safe community where you can always express your feelings and receive support. Please know that we are here for you and you are never alone. Many of us use the blog feature to give updates and whenever we just need to "vent" to others who understand us. You are very right, a mother's love knows no bounds of time, and there is something magical about it. Thank you for sharing with us, and I hope to hear more of your story when you're ready.
    Love and Hugs
    Brandi
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