Hello my story starts at 20 weeks when I saw my High Risk OB for an anatomy scan. Everything was going well with my baby until they measured my cervix at 0.6cm. I was admitted for an emergency cerclage and observation. I went home 2 days later on modified bedrest. At my one week follow up the doctor saw no change in my cervix. At 23 weeks she did a pelvic exam and saw membranes. I was admitted for hospital bedrest. The Neonatologists agreed my baby was a good gestational weight for his age and would do all interventions necessary for him. For a week I stayed in Trandelenburg position (inverse reclining) with bathroom privileges. My cerclage was still in place but my bag was pertruding and I was 1 cm dilated. I was bleeding from the cerclage and had no contractions. On day 3 of week 24 my baby had decelerations amd ultrasound showed he was head down and compressing the umbilical cord. I was rushed for an emergency c section. I had general anesthesia because I had been given heparin that morning for bedrest protocols. When I woke up I thought I had excruciating pain and my little was in the NICU. The next morning I was taken to see him and he was on a ventilator and dopamine. For the next 4 days he was doing great and had been extubated. That night he had a tear in his bowel (duedenum) which was explained to me as a rare but not uncommon complication. I had been weepy off and on but this news broke me all the way down. He had emergency surgery and a stoma was created. The surgeon said he would have to recover from the shock of it all and it was a set back. For the past week he has struggled with the ventilator and was changed to an oscillator and is doing better with that. I’m on pins and needles at this point. Pumping breast milk and healing from the c section is all that keeps me busy. I have feelings of guilt as I cannot drive and depend on my busy family to get me to see my baby. Everyone tells me to rest and get better but I only want to be at his bedside. The entire NICU team is amazing and I truly thank God for them. We are almost 2 weeks into this NICU journey and have a long road ahead.