Hello and Welcome. I lost my first daughter to Trisomy 18, after she lived for 9 days. I can relate to all the feelings of bitterness and jealousy. While I hadn't planned for her, I did my absolute best to be healthy for my baby. I took my vitamins, I ate my dairy/veggies, I rested and avoided caffeine. It was so unfair to me that I should have a baby with this defect when I hadn't done anything wrong to my body, while others squandered their gifts of healthy babies by not taking care of themselves and not living for their children. When I went to run errands or even to my job, I would become easily irate with other parents whom I didn't feel appreciated their children. One customer actually once looked at me straight in the face, asked if I had kids, and when I simply said No, she looked down at her fussing toddler, back at me and said rudely, "DON'T." I had to walk away.
All of what you are feeling is normal, and truly is a part of the process. Try not to be too down on yourself. You're allowed to be angry, you're allowed to be sad and to grieve the loss of your baby.
Sending you so much strength and peace