Saying Hello for my Arynn Brielle

From the moment I found out I was pregnant there was a little voice in the back of my head that said something wasn’t right. I ignored it just thinking it was my anxiety. I was extremely sick my first trimester. So much so that I had to be put on medication and I was losing weight quickly. When my second trimester came around I started to feel better and had more energy! At 14 weeks, I was at work and I got up thinking I had to pee and I felt a pop. I went to the bathroom and there was bright red blood everywhere. I got to the ER and was told I had a subgestational hemorrhage. I was assured this had happened in many pregnancies it was just going to have to be monitored closely. I finally stopped bleeding at 19 weeks! On Tuesday April 2nd I went into a specialist appointment and Arynn was perfect and measuring beautifully. But my cervix had shortened and opened some so I had to get to the hospital immediately to be monitored and for antibiotics. I started bleeding again. The next morning the doctor came in to check me and she pretty much told me within the next 3 days I was going to deliver Arynn and because she was only 20 weeks there was nothing we could do. On April 5th I got up because I felt like I had to pee but instead I saw little feet. The doctor came in to break my water and I could feel her kicking her way out. She was born with a heartbeat and breathing. She was a fighter. An hour later she passed in my husband’s arms. Heartbroken doesn’t come close to describing the pain you feel after losing a child. I don’t think there are any words to describe it. Arynn came to us to teach us a lesson and to show us how incredibly strong our village is. She was a fighter so I’m going to keep fighting. The joy she brought to our family is still there it’s just followed with sadness because I won’t be able to see her grow into the beautiful little girl I know she was going to be. This is my testimony. But I will not let it break me or determine the rest of my journey. I am the mother to an angel baby and I know I will see her again one day. My heart hurts but everyday it gets a little bit stronger knowing that Arynn is watching over us and laughing and playing in heaven.

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