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My son has been in the NICU for 15 days now. When he was born his trachea was not connected to his stomach so he had to have surgery 24 hours after birth. This was very hard on my husband and I since we have a two year old and didn't know any of this in advance while I was pregnant so it was a shock and not something we prepared for. He is now stable and doing well but the first week we juggled my two year old and coming to the hospital and it was exhausting. My parents and my husbands parents took turns watching him in our home and I realized quickly that this wasn't a good idea. Everyone had different rules and he was already beginning to act different. I decided that he would go back to daycare during the day so we could be at the hospital. I'm very grateful for the help from my parents and in laws and I don't want to seem like that was not appreciated.
Yesterday my parents visited at the hospital in the morning and when they left I was left feeling annoyed. They were in the way of the nurses or hovering over them or making awful faces like my child was suffering or being hurt by them. He is now used to all of this since it's all he's known for the 15 days of his life. The nurses have been amazing and I was honestly embarrassed by how they were acting. I'm sure the nurses have seen worse but it was just uncalled for.
THEN at night, my in laws visited. I do not have the most tolerance for my mother in law in general due to past events. I was playing with my two year old in the hospital play room while they visited. When we came back to the room my mother in law was sobbing. I was instantly panicked that something had happened while I was gone. When the nurse said no everything was fine, I was instantly pissed. My husband seemed mad as well and said "why the hell are you crying like that?" My son is fine and healing so it was just uncalled for.
Why are we the ones who have to be the strong ones through this and comfort other family members? Shouldnt our support system be supporting us? I just don't think it's fair on us to go through this and have to be strong for everyone else as well. They are the ones bringing me down more than the actual situation!
Do I have a right to be annoyed and not want any visitors? Or is the stress getting to me and making me irritable? Any suggestions on how to deal with this would be appreciated.
In reply to Hunter and Randi's Mom:
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