Hi again, I am so very sorry that you find yourself deal with this all alone, in the literal sense. Please know that while we at Share can only offer virtual hugs, we are still here. I can't imagine that anything is actually your fault. No one can understand how you feel unless they have been in your place. It might be helpful to have a blog space here where you can vent on a daily basis so that you can get your feelings out and help you to move forward and be there for your little one. So many of us understand what it is to have a baby in the NICU for a long time. We are here for you.
Love and Hugs