Still reliving the NICU trauma

My baby is now almost five months and completely healthy. I feel more gratitude than I can possibly articulate. But I'm having flashes of that original trauma of him being taken from me and intubated, not knowing if he was going to make it. I had a panic attack at the eye doctors when there was a machine beeping. Has anyone experienced this? I'm talking to my psychiatrist about the trauma (and my husband, who lived it with me) but wondering what other people would recommend. Also just open to sharing experiences with people who have had similar ones to help me move past it. Thank you

4 Replies

  • My first son spent 3 weeks in two different NICUs. In the beginning, every noise sort of made me jump and I was always checking his breathing, scared that he'd stop in the middle of the night. That went on for quite some time. He's now a healthy 11.5 year old. No matter how many years pass, there will always be triggers. For some it's beeps and machines, for others it's the smell of a certain soap or detergent. Hospitals, ambulances, and the diaper aisle can all contribute. You know your triggers. Make small goals for yourself and always have an escape plan, so that if you feel yourself starting to unravel, you can leave and collect yourself. Breathe mama, you're not alone.

    Hugs,

    Lindsay
  • In reply to Josie12907:

    I am sure there are many triggers, and I am sure this is normal. I hope you will visit tgis site again soon and let us know how you are doing.

    Erin
  • In reply to Josie12907:

    PTSD is all to real and affects me regularly as well. I honestly have come to terms that it will the rest of my life and I just need to learn tools to use when it strikes. Just know you are NOT alone. Coming to share and venting/chatting hearing from others going through similar situations is so very therapeutic for me. Hugs to you!
  • Hello and welcome. You are most definitely not alone when it comes to the trauma of the NICU. In fact, the level of trauma that parents experience when babies are born prematurely and live in the NICU is the same trauma that combat veterans face just as the PTSD is similar. Many parents here at Share find comfort in blogging, writing about their experiences and reading the stories of others, simply knowing they are not alone. At Share, we are here for you and you are never alone. I hope that you are able to find peace and joy as you navigate this part of parenthood.
    Love and Hugs
    Brandi
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