I just need to vent.. My son was born 6 days ago, 8 weeks and 6 days early.
I called my dad for the first time since little Wesley was born the day before yesterday. My sister has been my advocate, keeping the family in the loop. My dad said- Wesley will be fine, don't worry. Your brother was a premie and look at him. I was like- Did he code after delivery? They performed CPR on Wes for 20 minutes. He said he didn't know that, but I know that this information was relayed to the family. It didn't make me feel better. My baby almost died. The doctor told us they weren't sure if he would make it. I know my dad meant well, but it's frustrating that people say things so lighthearted without understanding the seriousness of the situation. He has no idea what me & my boyfriend, Jason, went through. Everyone keeps saying he will be fine, but I thought my pregnancy & delivery would be fine but it was a living nightmare. Now I know the truth- sometimes things are NOT fine.
There's more.. I was telling him we are taking it day by day and trying to be positive. It's been very stressful for both Jason and myself. I'm on bed rest with the exception of making trips to the NICU. So I told my dad that Jason has picked up all the responsibility of the house & caring for our 3 year old on top of working. His said- "so what?"
As if he deserves no credit or recognition because its expected. I was beyond enraged. I responded short & sweet- Dad you are not understanding what I'm saying.. I got to go. Talk to you later.
I was discharged in the middle of a blizzard. We arrived home and Jason snowblowed our driveway while I laid on the couch and cried. Coming home with no baby in my belly or arms was depressing. I fell asleep and he came in to find our pipe burst in our laundry room. He had to shut off the water to the whole house until our landlord came to repair it, but turned it on when I had to use the bathroom. He had to snowblow for a second time. The house was a mess in addition to all the blood in our bedroom from the placental abruption. Two days ago we locked ourselves out of our house upon return from the NICU. We made 2 trips to the landlords office to retrieve the correct spare key, with our 3 year old. My boobs felt like they were going to burst and it was below freezing.
My sister just made a comment yesterday that Jason needs to do more to help. I lost it. She apologized, but because I was upset and not because she understood our situation.
At this point I don't want to talk to anyone, or at least keep it to the bare minimum. They just stress me out more. Anyone else having the same problems or similar frustrations? How do you cope?