Hi and welcome to Share. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear all that you and your little one have been through. The NICU is a long, and difficult road to navigate. My twin girls were born at 25 weeks gestation in 2001. Today they are doing well, 16 years old and in their junior year of HS. The days in the NICU feel like forever ago, yet I still remember them very vividly. You truly have to take them one day at a time. Celebrate the good days, and use the good ones to carry you through the difficult days. I'm glad to hear that you're able to be off work and spend time with your little girl each day. She knows you're there and can feel the love you have for her. But please take care of yourself too. If you're not well you won't be able to care for her. Have you reached out to your OB for some support for your depression? Maybe seeing a therapist would be helpful. I wish I had done it sooner in our journey. I would encourage you and your husband to find some time to spend together outside of the hospital. Maybe you can have a dinner out 1x per week. As for your milk supply, yes all that you mentioned will impact it. And yes, we all know that breast milk is best for our babies, but if it's not enough, and/or causing you too much stress on top of everything else it's okay to switch to formula. I pumped for several months and built up a supply for my girls, but ultimately the stress of the entire situation caused my milk to dry up. Give yourself permission to say you've done the best you could and now it's time for a change. It's okay.
I live in the western suburbs of Chicago and would be happy to communicate with you further. I'm active in our local Chicago Chapter of the March of Dimes and would be happy to provide you with some support materials. You can message me here if you'd like to talk further.
Remember to take care of yourself, and rest. I look forward to hearing more updates your little girl.