Feeling like we will never leave

Our daughter was born at 33 weeks and 5 days. She had a rough start to things and required mechanical ventilation for 2 days as well as CPAP for 1 day. She has now been in the hospital for 55 day which puts her just under 2 weeks past her due date. She is perfect except she continues to have spells. I am so frustrated and sad right now because I feel like she will never come home. I know it is normal to feel this way, but she has never gone more than 48 hours without a spell and the doctors said the tail end of the bell curve for stopping spells due to prematurity is 44 weeks. I know how to get her out of a spell and I wish they would just send her home on a monitor, but she has to pass the 7 days without having a spell before they send her home. She does have a mild type 1 laryngomalacia that can impede her ability to breathe while laying on her back which the ENT said sidelying and prone positioning can help, but her neonatologist will not agree to lie her in any position except her back. I know I should be happy to just have a healthy baby, but I truly do feel like we are never going to get out of the hospital. I stay at the hospital all the time while my husband goes home to work and take care of the house and I miss him, I miss the fur kiddos, and I wish our family could be together in one place. I lost all hope of going home weeks ago (which I know is silly) and have accepted our fate, but I occasionally still cry in front of the nurses because I truly don't see a way out of this situation. I don't even cry when she gets a spell after 24 to 48 hours because I know she will continue to have them which then makes me sad that I have gotten used to her spelling and consider it "normal". I know I am rambling on and should be happy to have a beautiful baby, but I am so upset with our situation and the never ending road we are on.

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