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It doesn't end with the physical loss of my baby. I still need to heal from my c-section and be reminded everyday that my womb is empty. I'm carrying this scar with nothing to show for it. I'm producing milk for a baby I will never feed. I grieve for the loss of my baby and also for the physical pains of my body that reminds me of the child I no longer have. I don't know how I got through it the first time after losing my twins last year. Going through this again is not any easier. In fact, it's harder. I don't know how I got through it last time. I always thought it was my faith that helped me but this time around my faith is weak. I don't understand Gods plan for my life or why he took my 3 babies. I don't understand how I'm supposed to work through this. There's so much pain.
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