Welcome to Share. I am sorry for your losses and my heart goes out to you. I can certainly identify with some of these feelings. The wanting to run away and move outta there is one felt by many living through similar circumstances. The stages of grief guide will tell you that these feelings are all very normal. It also reveals that no major life decisions like moving away should be made within the first 6-12 months following traumatic event. I am not a counselor, just someone also searching for answers, a path, light, hope, that tomorrow will be a bit more tolerable and less painful. The family part is tough. It seems they either rally around, distance themselves, or are supportive to a certain degree/or until other life changing (positive or negative) event with someone else in the family. When that happens, it is as if one should "be over" the loss(es) and moving on as they have done. Yeah, that is not going to happen. Loss is always with us and it does not matter how much time has passed. Speaking with a counselor can be a wonderful thing. It is nice to just have someone listen. S/he will want you to make new goals, so that you do not stay in the land of sadness. Give yourself all the time you need for you. This is not something that is hurried. The holidays are coming, yes, but you do what works for you and hubby this year.
Wishing you more strength,