Loss a angel

August 15,2017 was a normal day for me till like 9 in the morning, who knew that was going to be the last day i lost my daughter. It was going to be my first child, i was really excited and honored to be a mom. She was just 21 weeks and 1 day. It hurts so much that the doctor and nurses didnt want my princess aliah to have a chance to live. It was 6 pm when i had her and the nurses and doctors had told me they were going to let her die because she wasnt fully developed because of her lungs. When i held her she grabbed my index finger with all her strength and open and closed her mouth. She was alive for an hour, they just let her die, they never gave aliah hope to survive. I just dont know why god took her from me, why couldnt i enjoy to have her more time, i wanted to see her go to school, see her walk, see her grow up and call me mom. I made an angel that day, and loved her. I really dont have nobody to tell my real feelings because im scared they might laught. I just dont know what to do than this .

5 Replies

  • Hello and welcome. I am so very sorry that you find yourself here and for the loss of your precious baby girl. Here at Share no one will ever judge you or laugh at you for your feelings. I lost my daughter 10 years ago to a birth defect. I was encouraged to put her on hospice and make her DNR because she was not compatible with life. She lived for 9 days before she slipped away. I will never forget thinking that no one would ever understand the feeling of holding my baby while she died being helpless to save her, to truly protect her like a mom should. Please know we are here for you, we get you and this is a safe place.
    Love and Hugs
  • I am sorry for you loss. When my son died I felt the same way, like no one would get what I was feeling or thinking. I felt like I was alone even though I had a great support system that they just didn't get what it was like and all the emotions, and thoughts. There were times I thought I was crazy but then I found this website. I realized that there were people out there who unfortunately do understand and "get it". This is the place I started sharing those thoughts and feelings. Know that we are here for you and we "get it" Many hugs. Nicki
  • So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Don't be afraid of your feelings about Aliah. No one is going to laugh about the hopes a mom had for her daughter. Aliah will always be your beloved daughter.
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl Aliah. She will always be a part of you. Keeping you in my prayers - Helena
  • I am so sorry about your loss. I love the name Aliah. Thank you for sharing her with us. I cannot imagine anyone laughing at your thoughts. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.