Shattered

My sweet little boy Jesse was born at 25 weeks. He lived for 6 hard fought days in the NICU and then died after getting ecoli. My due date is tomorrow and I feel like I did the day he died. Walking out of the hospital after he passed and leaving my precious baby in a bed all by himself was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m honestly not sure how I’m supposed to keep doing this. How do you keep moving when you feel like you can’t breath?

2 Replies

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. God Bless your baby Jesse. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks three years ago. Please read my post to Perpetulle from a few mins ago. I hope there's something helpful in it for you. What helped me was reading a lot of books on losing a child, this magazine https://stillstandingmag.com/ for mothers who have lost babies, talking to a counselor, the support of my family , friends, and truly believing I will one day be reunited with my daughter.
    I also honor my baby on her birthday every year and this brings me a lot of healing, as well. We planted trees in our neighborhood for her one year, another year we gave to a charity for sick babies, etc. There's a lot you can do to honor her. I also wear a necklace with her ashes in it and that brings me comfort. Whatever brings you comfort!
    You are stronger than you think and you can do this. Be gentle with yourself.
    Hugs and Love to you!
  • Hello and welcome to Share. I am so very sorry for the loss of Jesse. I lost my daughter to Trisomy 18, 11 years ago this year. Sometimes the only thing you can manage is simply one breath at a time; one after another. Then you can take life as slowly as possible, be gentle with yourself and allow your heart to heal. Loss is a journey without a destination, and we are here for it with you. Please know you are not alone.
    Love and Hugs
    Brandi
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