Hi Etuelle, I'm in the same position, except ThanksGiving is at my house. I went into premature labor the end of September by cause of Chorioamnionitis in Twin A's (Aaiden) sac (an infection of the amniotic fluid and sac caused by a very slow leak in the membranes. NOT MY FAULT). I had my boys at 23 weeks and 3 days. Alijah died 5 days later and Aaiden after a week. My entire family was and is still devastated. These were my first children and my parents first grandchildren, my husband has 3 from his first marriage, and the kids are heartbroken. Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. Yesterday, I didn't get out of bed until 1230PM - and that was only after I remembered Pest Control was coming. I called my Mom at work and cried because I woke up Angry. In comparison to the day before, my husband and I took his boys to brunch and watched football - not a single tear was shed. What I'm going to tell you is the same thing my Mom and Dad told me:
"You're going to have to take this one day at a time. You'll have good days, bad days, and down right horrible days, but you will get through this, one foot in front of the other, and at your own pace. You will need to regain some sort of 'routine', whether it's just walking around the block at a certain time or taking your dogs outside, you're going to have to do something. And if you don't want to see or talk to someone, don't. They'll just have to understand".
That is what I am doing. I don't go back to work until February, so I have a bit of time to develop a routine. The Fall and Holidays are my favorite time of year, but I'm just not feeling it right now, but, what I am going to do, is Do ThanksGiving -because that is what my boys would have wanted me to do. We'll have our parents, a few of my husbands coworkers over, who don't have family, and his kids will be over later that afternoon. And of course, football! If I need to step away for a while to be alone, it will be understood and not criticized. Do WHATEVER you feel is right, his family will understand. If you haven't already, find a counselor for you and your husband and maybe a support group. The hospital gave me a copy of the book, "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" and it's been nothing short of wonderful. If you don't have it, I would suggest you get it or some other literature.
Just remember, you are not alone in this journey. You have a whole lot of other Mom's traveling this course with you and we're all here to help. There is just one last question, what would your child want you to do?
I hope I've helped in some way!