Losing my mind after losing my baby!

I lost my precious baby girl on October 11, 2018. I'm completely lost and devastated. I've lost 2_babies this year. One at 13 weeks and the other at 25 weeks. I feel like I'm being punished by God! I have three healthy babies, and I desire more, but it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen! I'm done with trying! I'm so not myself and I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind!!!

2 Replies

  • Hello,
    I am so very sorry for the losses you have endured this year. Its so unfair and I can see how it could make you feel so unsteady and so unsettled. Please know, you're not being punished, we are her for you.
    Love and Hugs
  • I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know the heartbreak, as I too can relate. I lost my beautiful daughter on October 3, 2018 at 26 weeks. This was my first pregnancy and it has been incredibly difficult to accept.

    There are what you can make of good days, and there are bad days as well. Whether you believe if things happen for a reason or not, these are things we have no control over unfortunately. As hard as this is, there will be a rainbow at the end of this storm. There is always a silver lining - even if it’s hard to accept. Losing my own baby, I can’t understand why this would happen. Yet, from my own past experiences, whenever something difficult and heartbreaking happened in my life, it has been later when I would finally understand why.

    I have days where I cry all day and wonder why. And although it’s getting harder the closer I get to what was to be my due date, I also know that staying in this spot will not change anything. Therefore, getting better - mentally and physically - is best when we are individually ready to do so.

    I don’t know if you believe in God or not, but I believe God answers with the following: “no”, “yes”, and “not yet”. Thus, please do not think that you are being punished. I too have to remind myself that we must look around and see and be thankful for all of the blessings that we do have. Our babies were simply too beautiful for Earth.

    From one heartbroken mother to another, I am here if you want to talk. Praying and sending you love for a rainbow.