I'm so so sorry for your loss. It is absolutely..and I mean ABSOLUTELY ok, and normal, to miss them and to also not know how to feel. In October 2016, I had a miscarriage, and then last March I lost my son after he spent 2 weeks in the NICU. We may not grieve the same, but I dare to say that I know how you feel. From the moment you find out you're having a baby, they become your whole world, and losing them is losing so much of yourself. No one can ever or should ever tell you how to cope. There's no right way or wrong way. But I think being on here and reaching out to others is one way of dealing with it. I didn't do that, and I think it made it harder because I felt like there was no one else who could ever understand. But you're not alone. It's been a year since my loss of my son, and almost three with my miscarriage. I still grieve, I still wonder. I don't think that will ever stop.But in time, I promise you just as others promised me, you will heal. You never forget, it will forever be a part of you, but you will get through this. I didn't believe it then, but I do now and I hope that you find a little bit of peace and comfort each and every day.