I was recently diagnosed with HELLP Syndrome...But It took the loss of two my two boys and 7 1/2 years to figure it out.
July 2011 I delivered my first Son via emergency C-section at 25 weeks. Logan was with us for two days before he left us.
No real explanation was given as to what happened with me and why.
I was assured a repeat of my first pregnancy wouldn't happen. I was concerned, I voiced it, I brought in all of the paperwork from Logan....Not one peep from the Doctor. I was just about to see a new Doctor but plans changed. Wyatt was stillborn at 25 weeks.
March 1st I was diagnosed with HELLP and at that moment in the Perinatologist office all of my anxiety was gone, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I felt Hope again. We have been given a 30% chance of having a baby with the help of the Perinatologist. We felt determined. We felt Hope. Faith.....
...Now, a month later, I am second guessing everything.
I miss my boys. So much. I am trying to keep my focus on the positive.
I am trying to keep in mind that I am meant to be a mother and that no one can rob me of that.
BUT IT IS HARD.