Welcome to Share. I am very sorry to read about the loss of your baby girl. I hope that you are taking your time while you grieve. It's such an emotional journey and can't imagine all of the decisions you both had to make together. My heart goes out to you. I also had a placental abruption. I had a blood clot too and our son was born sleeping at 30 weeks. I know that having a careful plan in place and being on the same page with your MFM and other specialists can help give mom and baby a better outcome. Everyone is different and each pregnancy is different.
I was on bedrest for a couple of days before being admitted directly to the hospital. My first son came 8 weeks early and spent time in the NICU. I was a teacher on summer vacation when I delivered my second son at 34 weeks. I was on early bedrest at 21 weeks with my last pregnancy, but not really as I had two younger children to care for and no extra hands at home during daytime hours. If only I could go back, but unfortunately I don't think it would have changed our outcome. With being high-risk, I am a firm believer in staying off one's feet as much as possible, frequent visits, NSTs, and ultrasounds, relaxation CDs, a good plan, and positive support.
You do what you think is best for both yourself and baby. I would strongly encourage listening to your gut though when selecting your team. I was not on the same planet with the OB I was involuntarily transferred to within the practice. It's 6.5 years later and still going strong, but I am nowhere near forgiveness. This site has helped sort out so many emotions. I hope that it can do the same for you and offer more comfort and support along your journey.