c. For dads and partners

Dads and partners play an important role right after the baby is born. Because your partner may still be recovering from giving birth, the medical team will likely talk with you about your baby’s care in the NICU. You can find out what to expect and let your partner know. This can help her feel less worried and more comfortable.

Here are some questions you can ask:

  • What is your main concern about my baby right now?
  • What can I do to help my baby?
  • Do you have any information that I can give to my baby’s mother?
  • Can I take a picture of the baby?
  • Can I use my cell phone when I’m with my baby?
  • When will I be able to talk to the doctor about my baby?


"It was all a blur. My son was born with a cleft lip and was taken right away to the NICU. Looking at him for the first time was really hard. He looked so different from what I thought my first-born son would look like. As a dad, I was in so much pain thinking how this would cause him pain now and as he grew. 

The most helpful thing someone told me was to just take it day by day. When I thought about his whole life, I got sad and angry. But when I thought about what I could do to protect and help him get through each day, it wasn’t as hard. But it was never easy."

— Michael, dad to a baby boy with a cleft lip