Journey of che kutta ( baby of Shirley)
Last year I got pregnant with twin babies which was the happiest moment for us, at 5th month of pregnancy had a bad news that my baby 1 is will not so well, he was to undergo surgery and the success rate was not know, so doctor's suggest was to go for a fetal reduction, so with heavy heart we agreed for it and planned for fetal reduction.
It was the most activest baby, fetal reduction was done in 6th month of pregnancy, after fetal reduction I was left with one more baby which was healthy and I tried to come out of the loss of one baby thinking about the other baby, then suddenly I got effected by covid, and was home quarantined for 15 days, at exactly 15th day I went into labour and my baby boys wr born on 22/05/21 at 3:40 am.
Immediately after my baby was born he was taken to Nicu before I could see him, since he was a premature baby born in 28 weeks with low birth weight, doctor's had told us that he might need 4 to 6 weeks of NICU stay, before he could go home, so we had to stay in a room near by the hospital, so that we could go see our che baby everyday, che kutta was stable and was a very active child.
I saw my baby only after 3 days of my delivery, until then only my husband used to go and visit him during doctors counselling time, the day when I went to see him I was so nervous, he was such a tiny baby, so small with cute tiny hands and legs, as soon as he heard my voices he started smiling, which shocked me, he was able to recognise my voice, I felt so happy at that moment, it is an unexplainable feeling when your baby recognises your voice and smiles, my tiny little man had such a cute smile which melted my heart.
Baby was in incubator, he was out of ventilator support when I saw him, they wr giving him only oxygen supply for a support, my tiny little che was wearing a very small sized diaper and a cute little cap on his head but tubes and wires all over his boby to monitor his heart beat and other vitals, my che used to look like a little smurf, my cute little smurf he is, when we call his he used to respond even though if he's in deep sleep, the way he used to try to open his eyes to see us when we call him, can't forget it, his cute little eyes and his innocent smile even after so many pricks in his boby.
As far as we saw he was the activest baby in the Nicu room, all the time moving his hands legs and boby, the way he used to sleep,
Twist and turns his boby, on the fourth day he got little infection on his stomach and doctors wr treating him with antibiotics they said it will take 10 days to cure, and he was able to recover and the infection was gone, next step they started him on feeds very little, but he was able to take much becoz his gut was not still ready for feeds so he had little vomiting, the doctors said we will stop on feeds for sometime and then restart it, until then they asked to do mother handling becoz he's liking it, and kmc ( kangaroo mother's care) was started after two days, my was able to hold my che close to me and was able to listen to his cute little sounds, he was all fine doctors had alot of hope on him and name him fighter, he was a fighter.
Until one day he was diagnosed with an other infection, doctors started him on antibiotics again but che looked stable and active even after that, so we had lots of hopes that even this infection will go, on day 28 he had little breathing issues, doctors said it might be becoz of the infection and again put on CPAP support and he was all fine was they said they will change him on HFNC which is a minimal support
Che was improving alot and his activity was also good he was responding well to us, he even started taking feeds, all of us including the doctors thought he's fine, on 21st June at 9 o clock I went to see him and he was all fine, the same night at 12:40 received a call from NICU telling baby's heart beat is reducing even after putting him on ventilator support, we rushed to the hospital immediately and saw a baby his heart beat started to increase slowly after sometime they started giving him so medicines , we stayed there inside NICU, becoz still he's not completely fine, at around 3:15 che's heart beat started to go down again, doctor's started doing cpr, but exactly at 3:40 am on 22nd June our little che kutta lost his battle infront of our eyes.
Its so heart breathing movement for a mother to listen to the words that her little baby's heartbeat is dropping and his heartbeat stopped, that was the worst day, seeing your little miracle lying there without any movements , and touching his face, hands and legs but there's no movement and the feel that you get to know that you can't touch him anymore, my such a active baby che is a strong boy, he made us strong and proud parents.. love you che kutta
Carrying twin babies with one baby alive and one without heartbeat and hoping for atleast one to be fine, and delivering both at the same time with one alive, can't feel sad for the one which is no more and can't feel happy for the one which is taken to NICU.
Had lots of dreams with my twin babies , it's so unbearable that you couldn't get even one baby home, seeing both the babies heartbeat stopping infront of a mother's eyes, it's such a worst thing, which shouldn't happen to anybody else, but still trying to stay strong becoz our che thot us how to be strong, my tiny little baby.
Mine and they only wish is to stay with each other so they will never leave me, they are with me, always with me and will come to me.
In the memory of my babies and waiting for my boys to come back soon.
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
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