As the day creeps up on me I'm sitting here in my car unable to get up and go into my job. The pain is gripping me angrily. I think it is revenge for me not allowing it to be free. Daily I open my eyes, get out of bed and pretend to exist in a world of me myself and I. No family, no friends. Just me. And daily I exist without a thought to pain's existence. Pain belongs to my stolen dreams of becoming a mom. Pain belongs to losing my son while I fought for my life. Pain would only be if ignored for so long until he demanded my attention.
We are two days and four years away from the day my life changed forever, Caleb came and left without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
I am so sorry to hear about your son Caleb. Life can throw us very horrid curveballs ... i have lived it myself after losing my twin sons 12 years ago.
I still have pain and anger, especially when it comes close to their angel day. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.
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